Despair doesn't control me - komahina

Prologue

Throwing the fire grenades trying our best to put out the fire when all of a sudden Fuyuhiko stops Chiaki from throwing a bottle. "Look," Fuyuhiko pointed at the bottle showing that the bottle wasn't fully closed and the outside of the bottle was stained with the liquid from the fire grenade. "Put it aside for now, come on let's go," Hajime yells as he continue to throws the grenades.

After the sprinkles turn off I rushed at the back of the room behind the curtain seeing something so horrifying. I'm a second my body froze Nagito's body... dead.

His thighs stabbed his left arm cut and a knife through his right hand but mostly importantly I spear right in his abdomen. Fuyuhiko and the rest yell Hajimes name but nothing once they finally arrive next to Hajime the silent room suddenly filled with screams of Sonia and Chiaki screaming.

I'm just standing there silently waiting for nothing, I'm waiting for nothing, Nagito the crazy guy, was everything he said in the fun house true, did he really just wanted someone's love, questions are racing through my head but everything stops when I hear someone groan I watch as Nagito slowly opens his eyes. I rush over to him letting his head rest on my lap. "Hey," I say relieved he's still alive as I give him a smile and wipe some of his blood stained white hair out of his face. "I- the- bottles- I heard them break- the poison-," I was listening to his mumbling in silence as Fuyuhiko and Souda were comforting Sonia and Chiaki. "S-ssssh," I say wiping some more hair out of his face. "Just say quiet, you're gonna be okay, I'm not gonna let you die, you don't deserve to die" I never expected those words to come from my lips, Nagito he wasn't at all the guy I thought he was when I met him on the beach, he was crazy, still maybe I over looked him, judged him before I got to know him. "H-Hajime," he mumbled before he closed his eyes again. I had never heard him say my name like that full of hope of love, he sounds so exhausted and scared. The guy who wouldn't stop talking about being a "stepping stone" who talked about dying for the ultimate students sounded scared, filled with fear, hope, love and exhaustion.

"Guys a little help here," Hajime scream holding Nagito's shoulders. That's the moment I realized I was shaking, maybe it was just the blood, the spear in his abdomen. It couldn't possibly be because of... Nagito. Was I scared for his life, could it be, could I be the one he wanted to love, could I love him. Questions raced through Hajime's head as I tried to stay calm feeing tears form in his eyes. Fuyuhiko and Soda rushes over to Hajime kneeling down in front of him. "The hospital, we need to get him to the hospital," Hajime said stressing with tears in his eyes one rolling down his cheeks. Some how he was more concerned then ever for him, he decided not to focus to much in his feelings and get Nagito to safety. " go to the military base and get a truck, we'll drive him to the hospital," Fuyuhiko yelled at soda was was already running.

After carefully managing to lift him onto the back of the truck Souda slowly drove him to the hospital with Hajime talking to Nagito who hasn't moved since Hajime last spoke to him. Making Hajime stress only more as I cupped Nagito's cheeks his head resting on Hajime's lap as he wiped the tears from his cheeks making sure Nagito was still breathing as questions once again filled his head. Did Nagito love him... did he love Nagito.

Hajime was waiting in the front of the hospital with Souda and Fuyuhiko as Chiaki and Sonia did the best to help Nagito. After almost 5 long agonizing hours of Hajime doubting if Nagito would survive Chiaki and Sonia came back. Hajime basically jumped up and rushed over too the girls with fear in his eyes as the girls nodded. "We tended his wounds, but his hand was bad, with help of the things Mikan left we had help... and managed to save it, we managed too remove the spear as well but the damage is very bad, he isn't doing good Hajime, I wouldn't get my hopes up," Sonia explained given Hajime a weak smile. Hajime bit his lip looking down to the floor before he rushed pasted the girls and into Nagito's room. Hajime's eyes widened when he saw Nagito he had bandages covering everything as he was only wearing his underwear. Hajime slowly made his way over to Nagito's bed. His face looked at peace. Hajime calmed down when he saw Nagito's chest slowly move up and down. He quickly grabbed the nearest chair and sat down grabbing Nagito's hand seeing the bandages around his upper arm. "Who did this to you, did you do it to yourself, why," Hajime started questioning.

"Nagito you deserve the world, the world just doesn't deserve you," Hajime said frowning as he looked down to the floor still holding Nagito's hand. "I-I don't know why I said that y-you're...," Hajime has said it so many times yet somehow he found it weird hearing him say something like this. "Wake up, tell me why did this to you, tell me if you did it yourself tell me what you were trying to reach with it," Hajime started questioning him again feeling his eye lids become heavier he fell asleep his head resting on Nagito's bed his fingers till intertwined with Nagito's.

Hajime woke up in what seemed like the on call room, he sat up and looked around being confused how he got there. He quickly got up and put on his shoes as he made his way down into the lobby to see if anyone was there. "Hajime you're awake," Sonia said happy as she stood up. "I asked Soda to carry to the on call room after you fell asleep, you were kind of in the way," Sonia said a warm smile on her face like always. "Nagito is he...," it was the first thing Hajime said rubbing the sleep out of his eyes looking at Sonia with a scared look when she didn't answer. "Sonia," Hajime asked a bit more direct. "Oh yes of course my apologies, yes Nagito is doing better, his body is getting better but we don't know when he will wake up," Sonia explained. "Hajime maybe you should go back to your cottage, get some rest, Nagito will still be in the same spot as he is now," Sonia said with a worried face. Hajime agreed as walked out with a dazed sleepy look on his face seeing its completely dark outside. He said goodbye to Sonia and quickly made his way back to his cottage to get some better rest.

When he made his way to the cottages he walked over to Nagito's cottage knocking on the door. Like someone was gonna open he thought to himself letting his hand rest on the door his head looking at the floor as he felt tears falling on the wood below him. Hajime quickly wiped the tears and walked away. Once he walked into his cottage he collapsed on his bed.