Breathe Easy

Chapter 16 (Final)

Camila didn't talk to me much at all for the rest of the weekend, or the week after that, and the one after that as well. She kept her distance and it felt like she'd never even admitted to having feelings for me in the first place. I couldn't tell if it was jealousy she felt or a feeling of betrayal over the fact that I'd lied to her face.

She never said it, but I just got the feeling that she was the type of person who would think, well if she lies now then she'll lie forever.

Why get comfortable with someone like that, right?

That did not throw me off my game, though. Of course not. Over the course of two weeks, I tried talking with her. I tried buying her things and tidying up her room when I had time before she got home. When I talked to her, it was like she wasn't there with me. When I did her a favor, she acknowledged it by saying "thanks" or "that was nice of you", and that was the end of it. Nothing more.

I couldn't give up though.

Sadie and I made amends. We didn't fall out like I thought we would after my drunken night at her house. In fact, we'd been hanging out a lot. I didn't feel anything for her anymore, not as intensely as before. It was strictly business between her and I, with a hint of a budding friendship in the mix somewhere.

I didn't avoid thinking about Sadie in that weird way simply for the hope that Camila and I would make up sometime soon. I just didn't want to have sex with her while in a sober state of mind. Besides, Sadie was too bossy for my liking, somewhat like my ex, but not as bad. We would never have made it as a couple. Not even friends with benefits. As long as things stay platonic, I don't see a problem with her.

She had a slight problem with growing too attached, while I had a problem with growing abnormally detached. The only person I could see myself getting serious with as of today lived in the same house as I, yet she was relentlessly avoiding me. Talk about a bummer.

Another reason why Sadie was growing on me was because we'd been through much of the same things. We've both had a parent not exactly approve of who we are. Also, when she was fourteen she lost a brother. The guy killed himself, which is fucked up and not something I would have ever guessed. I suppose every family has their skeletons though.

I wouldn't say she was as damaged as me, but on a scale of slightly damaged to majorly fucked up, she was the first and I was the latter.

Dinah didn't approve of that fact that I was friends with Sadie, because she didn't believe that it was possible for me, Lauren Jauregui to be merely friends with someone as pretty as Sadie Castile and not be sleeping with her. Oh yeah, I'm a big whore in the eyes of Dinah Jane. But that's okay. If you're not a whore, how else are you going to get a lot of action?

Calm down. A majority of my thoughts are sarcastic and filthy. Don't take them literally.

Apparently, Camila didn't approve either. Truthfully, though, it was all a matter of willpower. If you don't think about how hot a friend is, chances are you won't want to jump their bones. Well, that's how it had always been to me at least. I never thought about how hot Dinah is strictly for that reason...

The reason why I wanted to fuck Sadie before was because I didn't necessarily think of her as a friend. She was just some random hot chick who wanted to be a model with rich parents, but now, I suppose she was more than that. I guess with all the talking to each other about our lives and who we really are had brought us close.

Her and I were casually sitting on the couch in my apartment, playing the Wii that she brought over from her place.

Classic Mario Kart, and we had the steering wheels and everything. I wished Freya was home playing with us and not at school. I knew how that girl hated leaving the house in the morning and I knew it'd be a whole lot more fun to hang out with your terrific aunt all day playing video games, so it bothered me that I was without her for eight hours during the week. But hey, taking her to school daily was the responsible thing to do.