Diatribes

Moony

Cool, thick sweat was dripping down his face, intertwining with strands of hair that had fallen over his glinting eyes. He was inflicted with the heat of the sun, and the coolness of icy water all at the same time. Muscles burning and bones withering away into what felt like a million pieces.  The coolness of the metal chains wrapped tightly around wrists forced Remus to come to terms with his situation. Panic as red as a rose and helplessness as grey as a stormy sky. Once upon a time, Remus never would have thought that his life would change for the worse. he pictured himself as an innocent little kid, the image was enough to make him feel sick. why did it have to be him? he was only four years old when he was attacked by the notoriously evil Fenrir Greyback. since then, at every full moon he had been forced to turn into a monster, and like a rabid dog, could not control himself. 

The sweat now covered his entire body, he dripped with rage and terror as the transformation began. the full moon, though he could not see it from inside the shack, beckoned him. it tugged at his mind and his heart. the moon is not an evil object, it simply brings out the worst in people. though of course, it wasn't Remus' fault. standing in the shrieking shack alone, he contemplated how good the teachers had been to him. Madam Pomfrey particularly. with every full moon at Hogwarts she was the first one to help, to guide and nurture him back to being himself. times had changed since he was four years old. the most he could do then was hunt down a mouse, or if his wolf senses were especially strong, a ferret. now though, the knowledge that he could hunt down a man and kill him swiftly terrified him. he wasn't the only one afraid. For the safety of students and staff, the professors had decided to lock Remus in the shrieking shack every full moon. Out of sight, but certainly not out of mind. As the night drew nearer Remus could feel himself changing. he twisted in his shackles and shrieked like the wolf he was becoming. 

In a flurry of red and black, Remus knew he was nearly at the turning point. pain gripped him so tightly that he could do nothing but dangle in his chains hopelessly. it was as his eyes turned to a bright yellow that his mind had escaped him. Remus was not himself, he was a werewolf. his hands had ejected tufts of fur and his skin had become a rancid shade of blue. The wolf could hear his own blood flowing, he could smell it. Vision blurred yet somehow clear as a crystal. he could smell the air as it came flowing through a gap in the entrance, it carried hints of pine trees and free game. The wolf had wanted more than anything to escape from the shackles that held him there, not a single sense of reality, not a single regard for anyone's safety. he thrashed like the waves in a stormy ocean would thrash upon a lonely boat. His hands were reaching for nothing in particular. The wolf howled as he realised he could smell the sickly maddening scent of blood. What he didn't realise was that it was his own. 

with all the thrashing and struggling, mindless clawing at the air, he had hurt himself. it was a deep gash engraved deep into his lip and chin, which slithered its way down to his neck. It was yet to hurt, for Remus always carried the pain before and after shifting, but hardly ever during. the thick red blood dripped onto his bare stomach, it tortured the wolf as he maniacally clawed at himself, wanting to taste the liquid, to quench his thirst for death and injury. The moon was bright outside, its light reflected onto the grounds and carried itself with such an important presence as it stood in the sky, watching over the Gryffindor towers. 

the moon itself, in turn, was also being watched. glared at from a window high up in the castle. the window belonged to the dorm room of the four boys. it was Sirius who was gazing up at the moon, he almost blamed its presence for the torture it put Remus through. all he could do was sit, stare, and hope that the moon was kind tonight. though of course, the moon had no control over what occurrences could happen. the moon simply stood alone in the world and came once it was needed. the full moon was simply a fixture of light that just so happened to affect Remus and anyone who had been bitten.