After All This Time

First Impressions

You can't place the time, but it has probably only been a couple of hours since you drifted off into your food coma. You bolt upright out of bed, hardly able to breathe. Sweat is pouring off of every inch of your skin. Your blankets feel heavy and thick, and you toss them off instantly.

It doesn't help. Fuck. You can't breathe. What can you do?

Not wanting to disturb anyone, you take yourself down the stairs to the common room. Though it is mostly dark, the pale moonlight seeps in through the tall windows. You see smooth dark red velvet couches surrounding a grand fireplace. You were filled with happiness thinking about the cold winter nights you could spend curled up by it with a book and some tea.

Still unable to really soothe your breathing, you decided to try the "5-4-3-2-1 Technique."

"Alright. Five things I can see right now. A couch, a fireplace, moonlight, paintings, chairs.

Four things I can touch. The hardwood floor, the rough stone walls, a book on a table, the hair on my head.

Three things I can hear. The crackle of the fire, owls hooting in the distance, and a light wind rapping at the window.

Two things I can smell. Burning of the wood and parchment paper.

One thing I can taste. My semi-bad breath from sleeping."

Okay. Done. Before you knew it, your breathing returned to normal. But you still felt slightly suffocated. You felt trapped in this room. Your mind was racing with all these thoughts that you couldn't quite focus, and soon it became too overwhelming. Before you knew it, you went upstairs again to grab your wand, your slippers, and a light sweater. 

It was like your body was on autopilot. You knew you weren't supposed to roam school grounds at this hour, but you couldn't stay here right now. You had such a wonderful start. What would happen if you fucked it up? If you turned everything into dust like you had before?

Being surrounded by your new friends, new home, new life, new possibilities, you couldn't handle it right now. Being incredibly good with your sense of direction, you quickly and quietly moved down the halls to a place you remembered on the map Dumbledore gave you before arriving at Hogwarts. The Astronomy Tower was nearby, and you knew that you could probably reach it unnoticed.

Thankfully, you ran into no professors or prefects, and you reached the doorway to the stairs leading up the the tower with no issues. Except one. 

It was locked. Sighing to yourself, you thought, it can't be that easy. "Alohomora," you whispered. You heard a faint click, and you tried the door once more. It creaked open, so you hastily darted inside and closed it again. "It really was that easy," you chuckled to yourself.

Knowing that there could still possibly be someone up here, you stealthily crept up the stairs, and when you reached the top, you noticed there was no one in sight.

You walked over to the railing on one side, sat down, and dangled your feet over the edge. It was quite chilly, so you hugged your sweater a little closer to your body.

You stared out into the darkness, a tranquil silence fell around you. You became so captivated by the quiet and having a moment to breathe that you didn't hear anyone come in. 

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry," a voice called out behind you. Startled, and afraid you would be in trouble on your very first night, you turned around faster than lightning. It was him. The Slytherin boy from earlier. The moonlight made him paler. His eyes looked sunken and exhausted. He looked almost sickly.

You quickly stood up to him, worried perhaps he was a prefect roaming the halls. "Oh no, no I'm so sorry. Please I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I just, being new and all I'm nervous a-a-a-nd I, I just- I just needed some air and-" you started spouting.