The Forbidden One

Chapter 7

Silence, silence everywhere, that was what I was greeted with when I entered into my home. Unlike the other Sunday lunch sessions, this one was eerily silent, no conversations were taken place as my father, Gauri and I had our lunch, the clinking of ladles, spoons and dishes were the only sounds that can be heard in the dining room.

"I will go and rest." My father said with a heavy voice as he walked into his room. Following his lead, Gauri too silently walked away towards the guest rooms, her head down. She never spoke from the start to the end of the lunch, it felt like she was carrying out her works roboticaly.

The Gauri, I met in Assam is different from the one, I am seeing now. She didn't have that care free smile, nor that chirpy, silly non-stop talks. The Gauri I met was like a butterfly, that fly all around free, causing delight and happiness to everyone around her. But the one I saw today was different.

"Dad?" I called as I knocked the door of my father's room.

"Omkara—" My father said lifting his head from the file, he was reading.

"How are you, Dad?" I asked genuinely, knowing that he was not in a good state.

"I can say that, I am fine but that will only be a lie." My father said with a dull look, "Every time, I look at Gauri, I feel hatred on myself, remembering how I had abandoned the kid that shared my blood and genes. I don't know, whether she will ever forgive me and gives me chance into her life, after knowing what all I had made her mother go through and how much of a bad father I am."

"Dad, never say that, you are a wonderful father, anyone can ever have." I said kneeling in front of my father holding his hand, "You have been a great father to me, give her time let her adjust to the new changes of her life."

"I always wanted a daughter, the one who can be my princess, but then again, I abandoned my own daughter. I wonder if she will ever accept me as her father and Will I be able to hear her call me Dad. Whom to blame, when I was the one, who was the culprit of everything that had happened."

"Dad, don't blame yourself, please. Don't let the guilt and regret take a toll in you and your health. Let the time heal the things. I am sure, one day she will accept you." I squeezed my Father's hand.

"Thank you, Omkara for your kind words. I am sorry for hiding things from you and your mother."

I nodded and walked out of my father's room, My life is a mess, the girl I wanted to have in my life, emerges as my sister. I wanted my father to be happy but now, his guilt is eating him up, and there is nothing I can help him with. I am feeling helpless, like I am swimming in a sea, no shore visible, I don't know how long I can stay like this or Succumb to the worries that will drown me.

Aimlessly, I began to walk towards my room deep in thoughts, when I heard the sniffing sounds coming from one of the guest rooms, and my feet followed the sounds, only for my heart to break with the scene in front of me. Gauri sitting at the edge of her bed, her eyes red as tears flowed down her cheeks, holding the photo frame of a couple, who looked so much in love with each other, —her parents—.

I watched her standing at the door of her room, no that I see her closer, I observed that her eyes are swollen, her cheeks red from crying, prominent black circles around her eyes, as a sign of the sleepless nights she has been spending in the memories of her parents. I felt sad seeing Gauri like that.

I knocked on her door startling her.

"Can I come in?" I asked softly and she nodded.

I walked inside and sat in front of her pulling a chair, that was placed beside the bed.

"I heard about your parents and I am sorry for what happened." I said after a few minutes of silence, as Gauri never averted her gaze from the photo of her parents that was laying in her lap.

"Why are you feeling Sorry, it was the fate that played a dirty game with me." Gauri's voice was thick with sadness.

"Gauri, I can understand your___"

"No, you can never understand, what I am going through." Gauri said her voice raising with the frustration and sadness, she had been bottling up. "You will never understand, cause only I know what it's like, to know that my life had been built up on a lie the while time and the one, who was my father was not really my father. You will never understand, how painful when the fact that the two important people in your life will never be in your life again, you will never understand, how frustrating it is that the one who's blood and flesh, I was sharing, abandoned me and my mother for his own selfishness."

"No sorry can get back my life to normal again, it's changed." She cried, "forever, like one minute I was above the clouds and the next minute, I was surrounded by utter darkness, and the sad thing is I have no idea, what to do. To feel sad for the good old times, that will never come or the fact that my life has been build on a lie, where the one, while loved me and brought me up, was not my own father. Or the reality where I am nothing but an unwanted burden and disgrace to my birth father and his family."

" I am sorry, if my words from the other day, hurt you. It was just, it came as a shock to me knowing that my father, whom I saw as an idol kept secrets from me and my mother. We will never think you as burden and disgrace, you are a family now, we are."

"Do you hate me?"

"No, I feel frustrated about the situation, life is making us go through but I don't hate you." I said genuinely, knowing that no matter what comes, I can never hate Gauri.

"Please, let me know if there is anything that I can do to help you. This is my card, you can call me anytime, if you need any help." I said placing my card in the bed side table.

"And, I hope this helps you." I said placing a chocolate on the bed, beside Gauri before walking out of her room.

"Good Night, Gauri."