innocence // jai brooks

chapter 8

The sound of the doorbell ringing over and over again wakes me from my peaceful nap. I groan and groggily glance at my phone to check the time. To my surprise, it's already 7pm. I lazily get out of bed to silence the nonstop ringing. My eyes go wide once I see who's standing at the door.

"Before you say anything, just let me talk. I don't know what I'm doing here, but without thinking my feet carried me to your door. And that's what matters right? All that matters is that I'm here. I'm here and I'm so sorry, Ariana. Look, in thirty years, it won't matter about the stupid little fights that slowed us down, it just matters that we somehow made it through. And I'm not saying that we'll be together in thirty years, and I'm not saying we won't. I'm just saying I want to be with you right now. And I don't really know what I'm doing, I just know that I've never been one to stand at a girls door I just met in the pouring rain and confess my feelings, but I like you, Ariana. I really do and I'm really sorry," Jai blurts and waits for my response.

"You're right. Maybe it won't matter in thirty years, or maybe I won't even remember your name. But right now, in this very moment, it matters. And to be completely honest, it hurts. Nothing you do will change what you did. And you know what Jai, you're a jerk! You realize that this whole thing is because I didn't sleep with you. I feel nothing for you anymore Jai," I lie slam the door in his face and crawl back into bed. Sure, I liked him, but I know what he's capable of now. I can't let my feelings get in the way of my mind. He doesn't deserve me. I shut my eyes and fall asleep.

My alarm clock wakes me and I slowly get out of bed. The last thing I want to do is go to school and deal with everyone staring at me.

"So he came to my house last night," I say as I walk up to Josie, who is desperately trying to clean her locker once I arrive to school.

Josie slams her locker and turns to face me. Her eyes widen and she takes a step back? obviously trying to comprehend what I just said. "What?"

"He came to my house last night," I repeat calmly.

"Yeah I know, I heard you... I just... What did he say?" She asks.

"Just the typical 'I'm sorry and I like you bullshit'," I roll my eyes and stare blankly in the distance.

"He told you he likes you? What did you say?"

"I slammed the door in his face," I inform her. Maybe slamming the door in his face was too harsh, but hell, it felt so good to do it. I felt so vulnerable at that very moment, I just wanted him to go away.

"Wait. Let me get this straight. Jai Brooks came to your house and told you he likes you and you slammed the door in his face?"

"It was just too much for me. I don't know. I gotta to get to class. I'll see you later," I give her a small wave and head to my chemistry class.

Once I sit down in my desk, I feel various eyes on me. I shift uncomfortably and glance around the room. "Hey, Ariana right?" A boy I've never talked to before says to me. I think his name is Ben.

"Yeah. Hey?" I question, curiously. I wonder what he wants.

"Would you maybe wanna hang out this weekend? And then give it up to me as easily as you gave up to that Brooks guy," The boy smirks and I hear laughter erupt from the classroom. I stand up and run out of the classroom and into the girls bathroom as I feel tears start to run down my face. I do my best to pull myself together and after a few minutes I walk out of the bathroom with my head down.

"Ariana? Have you been crying?" I see Jai head toward me.

"Just leave me alone, okay," I beg and try to continue forward, but he grabs my arm to stop me in my tracks.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" Jai asks. He seems sincere, and if it was anyone else I would believe he was.

I can't take him right now. I just want lay in bed and cry all day. "Nothing. I'm fine," I lie.

"I'm not letting you go anywhere until you tell me what's wrong," He looks at me and I just want to hug him. I want him to take my pain away. Which is totally messed up, since he's the one who caused it.

"It's just kids in my class. They were just harassing me and asking me if I would sleep with them," I let out a deep breath and look past Jai.

Jai doesn't say anything, instead he pulls me into a hug. The hug was warmer than I expected. Jai's strong arms wrap around my tiny figure and I feel oddly at ease. "I'm sorry. sorry," He whispers before letting me go.

I stare into his eyes, which almost appear as green today and think about forgiving him. I quickly change my mind. "I have to go,"