DEAR DIE-ARY

CHAPTER 1: PROLOGUE

One deserted island. One with the color. I am not saying that mine is colorless. It would be better if it was'nt life less.  It's worse now.  Do you know that people are fake? They are only toys the creator plays with. He puts tests and they take them unconditionally. They have no idea what they are put into. They have not a single idea how they will do if they fail. They are just they. The creator is only the creator. He creates then holds the fate of people. Either you choose to stay as it is or you choose to push ahead. It is your decision. 

We are not robots, we are humen. As humen, we do make mistakes. Then we make amends. Some do not stop, they again fall and at the end they disappear. Vanish. Their soul does not stay on earth nor it leaves to heaven. It gets stuck inbetween. Sometimes it feels like a living-hell. You can't get out of it.

Have you heard Taylor Swift's Cardigan? If not, then go listen to it. Most of you will be able to relate to it's lyrics.  Especially the teens. I know what you are thinking. You think I relate to the lyrics. Then you guessed it right. Yes, I am one of the most. I am one of the teens. I am Arienne Salmon. And I was 14 years old when I saw a different color. A different kind of happiness. And like any other Winter, any other Rainy-season it ended. You can not explain why you feel so suffocated sometimes. Sometimes in your life you thought of committing suicide. Sometimes you didn't stop only at thought, you did. And few of you failed at that. Good for the ones who failed. You will understand it all at the end.

Once in your life you need to fail. So that you can learn. So that you can start living in the real world. So that you can know  who you really are and what you are born for. What you are meant to be. You will learn to choose between rights and wrongs. You will be free. You will survive.

I am a survivor. I used to battle. I still battle. This battle can't be won by King Arthur's excalibur nor Merida's special bow and arrow. It is a battle of feelings. A battle against hurt, depression and anxiety. It's a battle against the cruel society. A battle against your most favorite person who has a special spot in your heart. You need to kill the person if you wanna survive. Yet you don't know if you will ever be able to do that. You can never take the step maybe.

Teenage love. They call it a child's play. They say it's a fool's errand. But to you it is the opposite. You come at a point where you realize yourself that it was never a child's play neither a fool's errand.

You fall in love and you lose it. I fell in love and I lost it too. I lost it all. Right there when he said, "I will never get back to you", my pounding heart stopped. It started forgetting how it beat. It no longer went on. Like Cinderella's broken glass slipper, it shattered into millions of pieces. Finally. 

Feelings matter, right? Yes, it does. INSTINCTS? Of course! The girl never lost her hopes. She never lost it, not even for a moment. She was so sure that her love will return to her heart and pick up the pieces once again. She lived with an illusion hoping that one day it'll come to an end. She'll be happy again.

I WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN. 

"I will never lose it,
You are my hope💜"

To be continued...