Secretly Normal

Fantasy

[Prompt from @clonewarstho on Instagram]

Anakin never had a real problem with children. Was he great with them? No. But he wasn't horrible. It depended on the species and how irritating the child was. The problem was, most kids didn't like him. Even when he was their age, he hadn't had many friends. He just wasn't socially adept.

The idea of having his own children was a distant notion that he didn't see as ever coming into being. Once in a dream he'd heard a voice call him 'father', but it was just that. A dream. Frankly, it was more of a nightmare. The girl was screaming and the world around her shattered into shards of light leaving her weeping alone. It wasn't something he'd thought about often. After all, he was a Jedi. There were other issues to worry about instead of wondering if he was cut out to be a father someday.

Then she started talking about it.

"Anakin, imagine if we had kids someday?"

There was a luster in his wife's gaze. Like she was staring into a vision. He blinked a few times before clearing his throat.

"What?"

"I know. We can't. But, I was just thinking about it." Her voice elevated to some higher place as she delved deeper into her fantasy. "What if we had a baby? And what if he could be a Jedi too? You could train him. It would be perfect..."

The rest of her words swirled around his head making him dizzy. What if we had a baby. That was more terrifying than any of the Sith lords he'd faced, the countless times he'd nearly lost his life, and all the nightmares he'd had.

What if we had a baby.

It would end things as they knew it. Their life of seclusion would end. No doubt, he'd have to step down from the Order. There was no way he'd let Padmé raise him -her.... it? The child... by herself. And oh, Force, raising them. Could he even do it? Was there enough gentleness inside him to handle something so precious? Was there enough patience and kindness to handle something so pure?

Realizing she was still talking, he swallowed his apprehension and tried to focus on her eyes.

"I bet he would look like you. Deep blue eyes that make you stare into them."

"Wait. He?"

"Or she. But I think I'd like a boy first. And then a girl. And then maybe another girl, because I enjoyed growing up with my sister. We had a lot of fun times together."

Multiple children? More than one? One seemed manageable, but the idea of more than that was insurmountable. How could they do it? Well, Padmé could. She had more experience with it.

"I think a girl would be nice." He said, forcing himself to think about it. Girls were always easier for him to deal with.  Besides, he had a great deal of experience with teenage girls. At least one. Teenage boys he wasn't sure he could handle. But maybe two girls wouldn't be so bad. The more he thought about it, the less terrifying it seemed. She seemed to talk about it with such ease. As if it was a plausible, obtainable future they could have someday.

Soon their duties and circumstances fell away. They were nothing more than a happy  couple in the universe, going on 3 years of marriage, discussing their children. Soon they were laughing, imagining situations and possible experiences, trying to think of places they could go together as a family and all the stories they'd have to tell them someday. Then she stopped, leaning into him where they'd sat on her couch.

"What would we name them?"

He took a slow breath in, trying to think. "Something with meaning. Something unique."