Reminisce With Me

Chapter 28: I Don't Want to Lose You

Aiden knocked on the car window and I stayed a few feet back, afraid to see Julian. I was once extremely comfortable around him and liked the fact that our friendship was growing. But, now, I was nervous to be around him. I didn't know how to tell Julian that I was in love with his brother, it felt as though I was stabbing him in the back.

I wished I could unlove him.

Aiden stepped back as Julian opened the car door. Julian walked around the car, completely overlooking my presence, and hopped into the passenger side.

"Aubrey," Aiden called out and I idly looked over at him, my mind still on Julian. "Get in."

I hesitated. "I can walk..."

He cut me off. "No, you're not going to walk. Come on, get in the car. We have to go."

I stared at Julian's silhouette in the passenger seat and my heart just hurt. "Okay," I said and slowly slipped in the backseat.

The moment I sat down, I felt the negative energy emit from Julian, which changed the entire atmosphere in the car. I rolled down the windows, finding it hard to breathe or think.

"Where's Bridgett?" Aiden asked as he reversed out of the parking lot.

"She's trying to reach Helen," Julian responded. "Ask Aubrey where she is."

Aiden watched me in the rearview mirror. "Aubrey, where's Helen?"

I was suddenly frustrated. "Can't your brother ask me himself?" I found myself asking.

I could tell Julian had his jaw clenched. "Why can't you at least answer this question," he snapped back.

"Are you kidding me, Julian?" I was angry now. "Why are you being so rude to me?"

Julian spun around and the amount of resentment in his eyes made me feel small. I sunk in my seat as he glared. "Why?" he shouted and I couldn't help but cringe at his tone. "I don't even know who you are. I was so stupid for thinking what you and I had was something real. You continue to avoid questions and problems. Honestly, Aubrey, you're just wasting our time now."

Tears pooled at the edges of my eye, each word cutting deep into my skin. I could no longer take his animosity towards me.

"Aiden, pull over," I said and my voice shook.

I looked at the rearview mirror, my tears making it difficult to see clearly. Aiden glanced up and shook his head. "No."

"Surprise, surprise," Julian scoffed, turning back around to face the front of the car. "Avoiding problems per usual."

I closed my eyes shut, reminding myself that crying is for the weak. "Julian, I get it," I said. "Yes, you are absolutely right, I am avoiding my problem. But I am slowly beginning to open up to everyone, but for some reason, I can't with you. I'm scared, Julian. I'm scared you will hate me. I can't bear the thought of the only person who actually knows me to hate me. You have been so good to me the past few months and I genuinely care about you. Julian, I don't want to disappoint you the way I disappointed Aiden back in the past. No one here remembers me, but you. And I can't lose you."

Julian was quiet and finally looked back at me. I glanced out the window, tuning out everything around me. I could vaguely hear Julian calling my name, but I was far gone to even acknowledge it.

We drove in silence and I was grateful Aiden had put the radio on. He pulled into a bowling alley in Lewiston and I noticed several students from my high school loitering around the parking lot. Aiden parked the car and no one dared to speak – especially after my long speech earlier. Perhaps they were worried I would burst again.