Roses || M.YG

Redemancy

If it weren't for a person you love, would you still be here right now?

I don't mean the person that takes care of you, or does their best to make you smile, asks about your day, hangs out with you.

I don't mean the person that can't wait to get home and leave their kisses scattered like the petals of a dying rose.

I mean the person that you love. Even if it's one sided. Especially if it's one sided.

If it weren't for the distraction of trying your best, or the sudden smile you just simply can't hold back when you hear their name, would you still be here?

If it weren't for the constant thoughts of "will they like this?", "will I see them today?" or "what would they think if I. . ." swirling around in your head like the butterflies in your stomach, would you be in the position you are in now?

Would you be trying to get out of bed every morning and look your best if it weren't for them? Would you be willing to change for the better if it weren't for them? Would you be willing to change, at all?

This was the topic of the conversation you're having with some stranger you met an hour ago, at a party below the roof you're sitting on top of.

Neither of you knew eachother before the party. You've seen him in the hallways, sometimes with his friends but usually alone.

He never seemed sad whilst walking alone though. He seemed like the more calm person who dislikes crowded places. Especially compared to all of his loud friends.

But now. . .now he seems like the most outgoing person when talking to you with a bottle of beer in hand.

"I've never had to, or tried to change for someone. They'll see the real you in the end anyways. It's a waste of time"

He was right.

You looked up at the sky full of stars, thinking to yourself.

There's truly no point in pretending. Because even if that person does fall in love with you, you won't be able to keep up the act forever. One way or another they'll see the real you. And it'll be way more painful to split up then, than just getting rejected on the spot.

"What about you?"

"Huh?"

"What about you?"

You heard him the first time. You never knew why, but ever since you were a little kid, you always had this habit of asking people to repeat themselves on instinct without even thinking about it. Even though you heard them the first time most of the time.

And while they were in the middle of repeating themselves, your brain suddenly clicked and you already said your answer.

But it wasn't just you. As time went on, you realised many people do that. It felt like some faulty wiring in communication but it's done more often than expected. Think to yourself, have you ever really questioned it when someone answered the question you were in the middle of repeating?

"Yeah, me neither"

"Liar"

"What?"

"Liar" Yoongi sneered.

"I've seen you shed more than half of your body weight in just a few months. I mean, is that even healthy?"

You looked at Yoongi.

"When you follow a consistent diet and workout routine, it is!"

You've become so good at excuses, that sometimes you almost believe your own lies.

You never felt guilty when lying to someone about something like this. Because it was always for the better. You never wanted to burden anyone, nor worry them. And you were always successful at doing so.

It was the easiest thing to lie about too. Because no one would ask any more questions. Except for Yoongi.

"Wanna show me the routine one day?"

"I-"

"I have a studio. It's not too big, bit if you move some furniture around I think there'd be enough space" Yoongi cheered.