your name on my skin

c h a p t e r 1

f a t h e r

A small anxiety sat inside the heart of the second prince as his stomach churns in unsettling way that Damien Cromwell had to skip lunch.

A close friend of his, who got a wind of what was happening, entered the office with a short knock and found Damien seated on the chair behind the table with the untouched reports and papers that were in need to be read and sign.

"What are you doing?" His childhood friend, Luis, asked while he sits at a chair comfortably.

"Nothing." A frown formed on the prince's usual blank face because of his unwanted visitor.

"Of course, obviously," Luis scoffed sarcastically. "Sitting stiffly like you have a rod shoved up in your ass and doing nothing."

Damien glared at him but Luis wasn't finished and ignored the silent threat from a prince.

"Instead of waiting why don't you visit her and see the situation."

It wasn't a question nor a suggestion but a statement telling him what to do, since Luis very much knew Damien didn't know what he should be doing in this kind of situation.

Having both of them grew up together since they were still babes, under the arms of the same wet-maid, they already know what the other was thinking, especially with Luis to Damien who loves to hide his emotions behind his expressionless face.

"You know I can't-"

"You mean you won't."

Luis was right. He just won't do it; visit and see his ex-fiance and soulmate. Unconsciously, his hand was reaching to touch the mark on his chest, just above his heart, but quickly pulled it away. Luis's attentive eyes caught his action but didn't say anything nor react to it which he was thankful for.

After what Eirlys had done, he just couldn't make himself interact with her and couldn't find the heart to forgive. She used to be the one who he dreamed of when the mark first appeared. The name with delicate font written on his skin like it belongs there. His soulmate from a foreign country. The most beautiful girl his eyes ever laid on.

"If-... Eirlys will misunderstand if she sees me. You know what kind of person she is, Luis," Damien said suddenly exhausted remembering Eirlys's antics and obnoxiousness about everything. "She'll immediately jump into conclusion and thinks that I want her back."

She made him doubted about the soulmate ordeal. Made him think that having to be binded and chained to a person because of someone's name plastered on a part of your body was an awful thing to have. A destiny that was already written for you. Of something you can't choose on your own, to be someone of your own choosing.

Then Damien met-

"Do you want to?" Luis asked cutting his train of thoughts.

"Do I want to what?"

"Do you want Eirlys back?"

"No," he answered quickly and bit loud as if he was offended by it.

"Hey, no need to be aggressive, princess. I'm just asking. It's been months since Eirlys moved out of the palace away from your Petunia."

Petunia, his soon to be fiance and his second soulmate.

A rare thing to occur, to have a second name on his skin. And it didn't sit to Eirlys's likings that made her aggravate and aggressive towards Petunia which he never blamed her to react like that, coming from her culture and all. But he hated on how Eirlys put Petunia in danger in many occasions and in so many time he had given her chance to change, until it was the last straw that him cancel their engagement.

"Don't call me that. Want me to teach you the difference between a prince and a princess?"

"Sure, princess, whatever you want," Luis teased but then the smirk on his face vanished, and gave him a look. Damien already knew what his oldest friend will say. "I heard that Eirlys could die of giving birth with her current health. Are you sure you don't want to see her?"

A year ago Luis's soulmate died in an accident while he was fighting for the kingdom in the front. It broke Luis that he tried on meeting her in the afterlife but Damien stopped him doing so. Now, there's red mark of his dead lover's name.

Luis was just being a good friend to him and didn't want to feel what it felt when a soulmate dies without being with them: regret.

...Consequences be damn. He was glad that Luis visited him unannounced and push him to where he will not regret for the rest of his life.

With Petunia owning his heart, all he can give to Eirlys was friendship and nothing more.

Soulmate was still a topic with unanswerable questions and still being study by scholars. What is a soulmate? Is soulmate will always be your lover, your future? What if you don't love your soulmate?

"Alright. I'll go and visit Eirlys," Damien said, more to himself. "Visit Eirlys... see her and the baby." He swallowed his saliva as becoming the opposite of ever the calm and collected prince that he was. "My child...? Oh god, Lulu. I'm having a child. I-I... I don't think I can go."

His friend's eyes widened at his crumbling emotion. "Fuck. You're now using the pet name. This is bad," Luis said and start panicking with me. "Eirlys always have something on her sleeve, what will you do if she found out that you're already fond of the baby even though you haven't seen your child? What if she uses your child to be with you?"

Elbows on the black table, he touched each pad of his fingers against the other of his hands and rest his chin on the thumbs. Damien closed his eyes in dread. "I won't see my child until he's of age... or she."

Could he do that?

After rejecting the love and affection in any possible way, his ex-fiance's still deeply obsessed with him until now. He and his parents couldn't just take the child away from the mother nor kick her out of the kingdom because she was someone who treasured by her people especially the ruler of Ciandelle Kingdom. Eirlys held power that they couldn't treat her less than her noble status.

"I could sneak in once in a while, I think," he continued changing his mind. There's no way he couldn't see his own child even if it's just a glimpse.

Someone knocked on the door. "My prince. It's Roy and I bring you news from Lady Whitethorn's condition."

The pit on his stomach tensed and the anxiety came back but much worst.

Did she already give birth? Is the baby a boy? Or perhaps a girl? Is- is she... alive?

Damien didn't know if he let Roy enter or Luis did, but it didn't matter. His eyes were intensed as he stares at the third person in the room.

With a quick bow, Roy announced the news, "The doctor said that the lady lost her consciousness in the middle of the delivery but quickly came back, after that Lady Eirlys gave birth successfully. Both the lady and your son are safe. Congratulations, Your Majesty."

"Congratulations Damien. You're a father now."

"I'm a father," he breathed muscles relaxing. Eirlys is alive.