Hadassah's Sacrifice

CHAPTER 20

Adah sat calmly watching the sun rise. It has been her routine for years now to just silently admire the beauty of God's creation. There was nothing more beautiful than the sun rising in the morning - it was breathtaking. Although she couldn't place it, she has awakened with an unrelenting burden for Hadassah. And she did the only thing she could offer - prayer.

"I do not understand what this burden means, Lord, but I commit your child, Hadassah to you, that you will watch over her and protect her with your presence. I pray that you keep her and fill her troubled heart with your everlasting peace. This burden that she feels, help her understand what it means. This change that comes upon us, prepare us and let us experience your freedom in a way that would glorify your name."

But even when her lips stopped moving, Adah's heart prayed earnestly for the one she has come to see as her daughter.

                                 
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Hadassah got up from the small bed and like every other day, the strange feeling was present, except this day it wouldn't leave her alone. It lurked in her heart causing her heart to beat faster. Something didn't feel right. "Not today," she muttered as she walked away from the bed.

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Hadassah. The name rung heavily upon his heart, the name of the woman he loves. He hadn't seen her in some days and it appeared like it had been months. Benjamin felt a strong need to see her. Thoughts of her had consumed his sleep, filled his thoughts, he didn't understand why, but he was urged to hurriedly go to her house.

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His stance like that of one who lacked no confidence, Benjamin stood at the front door of Hadassah's small house, and for some reasons, he was nervous. He didn't want a repeat of what happened with her Uncle the last time he visited. He wouldn't want to place Hadassah in an uncomfortable position or make himself embarrassed. "Get hold of yourself," he said to himself as he stretched his hands to knock on the wooden door. A slightly disheveled Hadassah popped out her head from the half opened door.

"Benjamin! I didn't expect to see you here," she screamed while adjusting her hair, trying to arrange it neatly atop her head while fully opening the door so Benjamin has enough space to enter inside the house. In haste, she had forgotten to wear her shawl around her long black hair.

"Neither did I," he replied teasing her. His eyes took in her rich long hair. It was his first time seeing her hair without a shawl. Hadassah always wore a shawl on her head. He didn't know if it was her own will or her Uncle, for so many other women amongst their people didn't cover their hair. "You have such a beautiful hair," he said as one who was transfixed by something captivating. "You should open it more." He looked into her brown eyes, hoping that she will see how serious he was when she saw his eyes.

Now completely aware that she had left her head uncovered, Hadassah skillfully folded all her hair inside a tight bun, as she sat uneasily facing him. How quickly she got shy around him when he gave her compliments. It made her feel uneasy when he pays attention to little details about her look.

"What brings you here?" She asked quietly, trying not to act like she heard what he said about her hair being beautiful.

Studying her face, Benjamin gently answered her question. He was fine with her not speaking of his compliments. "I knew I wouldn't see you until Bible Study and I had to see you." He didn't know for what reason he felt burdened to see her today, but seeing how disheveled she looked confirmed his feelings. Hadassah wasn't herself. "How are you?" He asked as though searching into her soul for answers with how his eyes bore into hers.

"I'm alive," she shrugged. Her life has become complicated and she couldn't say if she was fine. She didn't feel fine. Fine wasn't her not having enough sleep every night because the feeling won't leave her alone. Fine wasn't her feeling afraid of the change that Papa Emmanuel talked about. Fine wasn't her feeling like everything she has might be taken away from her. She wasn't fine at all. In fact, fine was far from how she felt.

"Is all well with you, Hadassah?" He asked concerned. This tired looking woman before him who appeared like she hadn't slept in a long time, didn't look and sound like his Hadassah.

This was why she liked him, right? - always showing concern for her even at the time when they were yet to be friends.

"I wish I knew if all was well. I don't even understand my life anymore." She met his worried eyes. "My life is about to change, Benjamin. Our whole lives are about to change. This strange feeling won't leave me. I feel drained." She was tired. Adah had told her to keep praying, but it seemed the more time she spent praying, the stronger the feeling. It was like God was trying to warn her about something, only she didn't know what it was. He wouldn't even tell her.

"Does this have anything to do with what Papa Emmanuel told us?" He was confused. He didn't understand her words.

"Yes."

Now he understood why she looked tired, and her eyes have lost its gleam. Whatever was bothering her, was draining away the cheerful Hadassah he knew. But he didn't understand why she hadn't mentioned it to him sooner. Or maybe he knew - she didn't trust him.

"Hadassah," he called doing his best to hide how hurt he was that she still hasn't come to trust him, "I may not understand what is happening to you, but I want you to know that I am always going to be here for you. You have to trust me." His voice sounded like he was pleading.

Looking into his eyes, she saw love and concern for her. He really cared about her. Perhaps he was sent by God into her life for such a time as this. She needed an assurance that everything was going to be fine.

"Thank you," she said as she tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. She didn't understand her life. First it was her parents dying and leaving her alone, then Babylon attacked and now her heart feared for what was yet to come, one that might change the course of her life forever and she had no idea what it was. Who gets afraid for what they don't even know? She was a slave in her own country and now she has become a slave to her fears.

"Hadassah," he called softly, "Can I hug you?"

"Yes," came the quiet reply. She didn't know that she has been crying. A hug might do her heart some good. Hadassah desired to be protected; Benjamin's question couldn't have come at a better time - a time when she wanted more than anything to be embraced and feel safe.

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A/N: Who agrees with me that Benjamin is a gentleman? I wanted this chapter to be special for both Hadassah and Benjamin.