The 1940s Hellfic

Berning Coffee

A/N: We will start this journey into this hellscape with a lovely Bernie Sanders Coffee Shop AU. Enjoy.

Lucia had very little to offer when it came to anything culinary, albeit a lovely restaurant that was too high-brow for half of the people in Lucia. The other alternatives included a few takeaways, some mediocre diners and a tiny startup coffee shop south of the settlement where Amelia Whitehouse, clad in a full suit of armour, was now entering. Her steel body plates squeak almost concealed the little door bell of the café and did an even better job at announcing her arrival. There was a sword strapped to her back but it was missing its handle, and the jagged cuts on her hand from holding the blade certified her as stupid sod. Despite one of hell of an entrance, everyone pretty much ignored Amelia's presence.

Expect one man sat right at the back.

He had a shock of almost glowing white hair that hurt her eyes and twinkling eyes the colour of free healthcare. It was Bernie Sanders. Her coveted first date. He was sat in the booth directly staring at Amelia while she squinted because his hair was indeed glowing neon and it really hurt to look at. He was sat in a booth entirely lined out of leather that ran onto the floor and ceiling for some reason and winked at her almost ferociously as she slid into the opposite side of the booth, heart fluttering anxiously, her armour getting louder in unison. Because that's how that works. He held a thousand words in his glimmering, twitching eyes but the one he said meant so much more to Amelia than anything else.

"Communism"

Amelia was enraptured on the first word as she waved over a waiter to order her coffee. He shyly made his way to their table as Bernie and Amelia refused to take their eyes off each other, locked in a staring contest. The waiter had messy blonde hair and wore understated clothing with a little employee badge that listed him as "Tate Langdon". He stood awkwardly by the table for a good 40 minutes while Amelia and Bernie finished their staring contest.

"HA YOU BLINKED" declared Amelia triumphantly, while violently blinking herself. Everyone in the Cafe turned towards them after the loud outburst but turned back around when Bernie bared his teeth at them. Tate rolled his eyes and asked for the 7th time what their order was.

"Uh yeah I will take a Stalin Stale Ale and a Marxarita for Amelia here" Bernie whispered for some reason in Tates ear. Tate, looking like he wanted to shoot him, everyone else here and then himself, scribbled the order down and jogged away to the counter, something long and black poking out under his shirt. I'm sure it will be fine.

As Amelia gazed at Bernie, already in love with the man, they chatted idly for hours on end, until the cafe had to close but Bernie got his teeth out again and they sat in the darkness of the closed coffee shop at night. Well, that was until the little door bell that hung over the entrance made a somewhat ominous jingle as an unexpected visitor walked into the closed down seating area. Amelia looked up from Bernies toes and gasped at who she saw.

"Danny Gonzalez?????" She screamed, backing up in the least sexy way possible into Bernie for protection.

"No its Drew asshole" he snarled. There was a curved bulge under his shirt which was shockingly not his boner but instead what happened to be a baby bump. With that cardinal insult Amelia uttered, he ran back off into the night with his fetus.

Amelia got to her feet, leaving Bernies armpit and leapt out on to the street, iron armour still working those screeches.

"CONGRATS ON THE BABY"
"thanks"

Satisfied, she turns to go back to her mans only to see him not there, a free college shaped dent in the floor from where he was. But there was a shimmering white light dancing underneath the kitchen door she saw Tate go through. Never came back with the drinks sneaky bastard. She did a crab walk through the kitchen door to once again, in the darkness see Bernies hair glowing, casting a bright, heavenly light on her armour, just like when she first met him. But this is differnt.

It seemed to be burning.

Bernie, just in the kitchen to tax a pop tart, turned around to see Amelia's discomfort, shielding her eyes from the blaze.

"Sorry Amelia, it's just my soul coming through my hair, apologies"

His hair seemed to pulse and Amelia was knocked to floor unconscious from his pure soul shining into her eyes.