Damaged

Chapter six

~Y/N POV~

After the meeting we were all dismissed but with Yoongi leaving first and Namjoon after and then everyone was free to leave. I left with Jimin and headed back to our floor. Jimin went straight to his own office where as I went straight to my desk but after giving Jimin my notes from the meeting.

I think I did I good job in taking notes. I made sure that I wrote down everything that was mentioned in the meeting and who said it and amongst other things.

I was feeling really good about it but when Jimin came back out of his office and came directly to me I literally stopped breathing. Maybe I didn't do it right?

But when he stops in front of my desk with all smiles I felt relieved and finally took a breath.

"Y/n, Mr Min the big boss would like to see you in his office." Jimin

My whole body stiffened in my chair and my mind just tired blank.

"Y/n? Hello?" Jimin

He waves his hand in my face which forced me out my trance.

"Oh? Yes, erm....w-where is his office?"

My heart was beating so fast as I stood up ready to go to where I'm told. I'm not prepared to face Yoongi alone but for all I know he could possibly not even recognise me. I hope so.

"I can take you there. Let's go he can be impatient sometimes." Jimin

I only nodded and followed him towards the elevator just the two of us to walk in and press the floor button that was at least five floors above the floor I work on.

The elevator going up was quiet between Jimin and I and I even noticed how he would glance at me every now and the over his shoulder. I think he knew I was nervous but didn't say much.

We came to a stop of the floor yoongis office is apparently on and Jimin walks me down a very short corridor all the way to the bottom just to stop by these large double doors.

"Relax y/n. You'll be fine and he's not that bad when you get to know him." Jimin

Oh I do know him. Better than he thinks.

However I just nod quietly trying to control my shaking hands that I entwined my fingers together to keep still. Jimin lightly pats my shoulder for reassurance and then knocks on the door for me just to then turn and leave back to the elevator.

I could hear movement from the other side of the door until I finally heard his voice from the other side.

"Come in." Yoongi

Taking a deep breath in did I pull the handle down and push the door open, slowly stepping into the large office with my back turned to him the whole time. Only did I pause by the door just for a moment trying to keep it all together.

"You can turn around now y/n. I don't bite." Yoongi

I almost crumble to my feet upon hearing his voice saying my name for the first time in years. I turned around to finally face him but a little too fast almost to stumble to the side but catch myself by holding onto the wall.

His chuckle caught my attention and I brought myself to look at him sitting behind his desk, leaning back against it, hands casually on his lap.

"You're still so clumsy y/n." Yoongi

I gasped and rooted my feet to the floor.

"Y-you remember me?"

"Of course i do. How could I forget about the love of my life walking out on me in the way that she did?" Yoongi

The pain in his eyes was evident and stayed staring into mine. More guilt rushed over me and my heart clenched at his words. My hands were shaking uncontrollably and I pulled at my fingers to get them to stop but they don't. The moment his eyes landed on my hands I pulled them back to hide them behind me from his view just for him to release a heavy sigh, running his left hand through his gelled hair.

"Look I didn't ask for you to come here so we could speak about that. I just wanted to welcome you to the company like I do with all my employees but I also wanted to at least be civil with you despite my fe...." Yoongi

He stopped himself to nibble on his bottoms lip and rest in hand on the desk, tapping his finger on the woods repeatedly.

"Have a seat please?" Yoongi

He gestures to the seat in front of his desk forcing a smile that I know all too well. It anyway have been years since we've seen each other but I remember everything about him.

In silence did I come forward to take a seat as he asked so nicely. I also tucked my hands under my legs so they wouldn't be noticeable with the shaking.

"So, how are you y/n? It's been a while so what have you been up to all these years?" Yoongi

I'm guessing Namjoon never spoke about me to him and I guess I could see why. It hurts him just to look at me right now as it does myself to see him in the pain that I caused him.

"Nothing much. Just odd jobs. I also got clean. I haven't touched any drugs or alcohol in over six years." 

My voice only came out quietly but I watched his every move and noticed how his eyes lit up slightly and tried to hide his smile.

"Good, that's good. I did too. I guess you could say I got the wake up call I needed." Yoongi

His hand on the desk formed a fist and he looks away to the corner of the room with a clenched jaw. There was more silence between us and I didn't know if I should stay or go.

"Why did you leave me?" Yoongi

His question caught me off guard. In ways I was expecting it but at the same time not expecting it to be so soon. The sadness in his eyes were filled with pain and I knew I did this to him. It's my fault leaving him the way I did but I had to. It seems like my decision did something good for the two of us.

"Yoongi, I...I had to. The two of us wer-"

"No! Don't say we were bad for each other y/n because you and I both know that's not true. We were perfect for each other and I gave you every thing I had. Everything." Yoongi

There was tears brimming to his eyes just like mine were too but I quickly wiped them away. In this moment I had no right to cry. I'm sure he's been waiting six years to finally tell me how he feels and understandably so.

"I thought what we had meant more to you than to leave me like that. All I got after everything we had been through together was a fucking note. A note! To wake up from your high and to look around the shitty apartment looking for you and to find THAT, was just insulting and I've never felt so broken in my life y/n. You, of all people did that to me." Yoongi

I nodded to look down to the floor. To see his broken figure across from me behind the desk was hard enough and each word he says is a stab to the heart each time.

"I'm sorry."

I whispered but he heard it to scoff at me.

"Yeah I'm sorry too. I wasted two years of my life with you just so you could leave me like that. I had to come crawling back to my father y/n, you would of known how hard that would of been for me and it was but even when I did that all I could think about was you. It's always fucking you. Now please just get out." Yoongi

I looked at him surprised but only to see him faking at the floor beside me. I stood up slowly and made my way to the door but stopped as I grabbed the handle to turn to look at him over my shoulder, our eyes making contact.

"It's always been you too yoongs."

Then I quickly left the room without seeing his response and ran to the elevator as fast as I could to get in and press my floor button and crouch down bursting into tears.

How the hell am I suppose to work here when my boss is the man I once left years ago?