Unsaid

One

A/N- Just to clear things up: Louis is looking back through Harry's old diary. They're not together at the current day, you'll find out what happened to their relationship later in the story. Anything in italics and parenthesis is was Harry wrote. Sorry if this is confusing, I thought it would be a unique way of writing the story. This chapter is pretty short, but I plan on making them longer in the future.

Criticism and feedback is greatly appreciated! Sorry for any mistakes in grammar or spelling, enjoy!

Louis sat on his and Harry's old bed and ran his hands through his hair. He stared at the worn leather cover of the small notebook Anne had given him. Apparently it used to belong to Harry. The tan cover was stained and dirty, and the top right corner had torn off slightly. Louis remembered seeing Harry writing in it all the time when they first met, but he didn't know Harry had kept up with it. He laid back and took in the comfort that he felt when he was in their home. Then that comfort was replaced with guilt, and sorrow. He missed him. What he would give to see Harry's beautiful face again. His adorable dimples, and the way he would blush whenever Louis would kiss him on the cheek, even after they'd been together for years.

Eventually, he flipped open the cover and studied the first page. He grinned when he saw Harry's familiar handwriting, and began to read.

(July 25th, 2010.

Dear Diary (or however I'm supposed to start it)

Mum bought me this journal so I could document my time with the other boys :) she says we're really going places. Except, we've only been in a band for all of two days. Still, I think it's pretty cool.

I really like my new mate Louis. He kind of scares me though? I don't really know. He just makes me nervous and I really want him to like me, you know?

I don't know why I asked "you know" cause only I'm ever going to see this book so there's no one to answer.

I also really like the other boys! Niall's really funny and Zayn seems sweet, except he's pretty shy. It seems like Liam and Louis are having a bit of a row , but I don't think it's too big, we'll see.

Anyways, the boys are coming over to my house to spend a week here and get to know each other which should be pretty fun. I'm nervous just cause I think my mum will embarrass me. It's weird writing in a journal. It's like writing a letter, but knowing you'll never get a response.

Oh, mum's calling. The boys are here!)

Louis grinned. He remembered spending all week with the other boys, and trying to make Harry laugh and smile the whole time. He also remembered texting his mum and saying he might have a crush, but not telling her who. Now, he was certain she knew he loved Harry, even before he did.

He ran his fingers over the ink on the page and held the book close to his chest. They had been so young when Harry had written this. So unproblematic and free. Louis wished they could've stayed like that forever. He turned the page to see a small sketch of a sunflower with little sentences surrounding it.

There was one sentence that read: (Louis calls me sunflower, so I drew this. I call him the sun :))

Another said: (Today Lou came over and we went for a walk. I took him to my favorite spot over by the creek and we ended up swimming. I wish I had it on film, I'd never stop watching. That sounded kind of creepy :/ I just meant that it made me happy. He kind of reminds me of Jacob. Louis makes me miss Jacob less)

And then, crammed into the bottom left corner was: (By the way, it's July 31st! I haven't been able to write much since the boys were over, but it was really fun. I'll write more about it later.)

Louis grinned again. He called Harry sunflower because sunflowers always point towards the sun, and Louis' nickname had been sun since he was little. Part of him ached to read more, but he knew what was coming. He knew that Harry wouldn't be young and happy forever. He didn't know exactly when Harry's anxiety started, but he didn't want to find out.

Except, that part of him did. Louis longed to know the whole story. He wanted to know what Haz thought of him, and if he understood that Louis signed a contract. He wanted to know if Harry had loved him till the end.

Louis studied the sketch of the sunflower for a while longer before he shut the book and held it to his chest. He felt a tear slip down his cheek and remembered sitting on this same bed with Harry and hearing his beautiful laugh.

"I love you Haz," he whispered to the empty room , wishing he would've said it to Harry when he had the chance.

Louis laid down in the bed and held Harry's old pillow to his chest. It still smelled faintly of his cologne, which made Louis' heart throb with both the pain and happiness of his memories. He wanted to keep reading, to pick up the book and know everything he could about his beautiful boy, but at that moment he couldn't. He just wanted to stay where he was and remember Harry's scent and allow the happy memories of when they were young float through his mind.

He thought specifically of the moment Harry had talked about when they went down to the creek. It was early in the morning when all the other boys were still asleep and Harry had wanted to show Louis something. Louis remembered the cool feeling of Harry's hardwood floor against his bear feet as he followed him outside.

"Where're we going?" He whispered, trying not to wake the other boys. Harry hadn't answered, he just giggled and opened the back door as quietly as possible, gesturing for the older boy to go outside.

"Common," Harry whispered, grabbing Louis' hand and pulling him away from Harry's yard.

Louis remembered not being able to stop grinning, and just feeling like he could soar with how happy he was.

"Styles, where're we going," he had asked after following Harry for a few minutes, both of them walking slowly since they hadn't brought shoes.

"You'll see," Harry replied teasingly. He led Louis into a wooded area, and Louis followed, not minding the small cuts appearing on his feet from the twigs and rocks.

Not long after, they'd reached a small creek with a filthy old tire swing nearby.

"Common," Harry said again. He started taking off his shirt and slipped off his shorts so he was just in his boxers. Louis followed suit, laughing loudly. He watched as Harry timidly stuck his toes in the water, testing the temperature.

"Watch out Haz!" Louis called before tackling Harry, causing them to both fall in the water.

The memory made Louis grin. He missed Harry, even if it was his fault that they weren't together anymore. His mum told him it wasn't his fault, but he couldn't believe that.

He didn't know whose fault it was in particular. He did know one thing though, all he wanted was to be with Harry again.

A/N- If anyone wants me to, I'll continue this. Otherwise I'll just keep writing it, but not post it.

:)