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I woke up this morning with a troubling dream.
With tears running down my cheeks, I got on my knees and started praying.

"What is the meaning of this dream, my Lord? Don't let it be true."

"Yet it is the truth. Your grandfather has passed away. And your grandmother is very ill."

"Don't let her die too. Please heal her. I haven't seen her in a long time. And my grandfather." I weeped some more. "What would You have me do?"

"Go back to where you were born. In the State of Amazonas."

"Amazonas? They rejected You and rejected me as well. What will I do over there?"

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."

"Yes, my Lord."

I prayed and worshipped my Lord until the time came for me to start getting ready for the day.
I normally got ready by eight AM and ate my breakfast. But today I didn't feel any hunger, so I decided to fast. A water fast for maybe the next couple of days as my Lord will lead me.
Since I worked at home, I only needed to have a computer, a good internet connection and a flexible schedule; all of which I had.

I went to my office area that was in the living room and turned on my computer. I also turned on my radio to listen to worship music before checking emails.
Today, I had small projects of translating pages from English to Portuguese.
I finished them by afternoon and decided to take a pause.
I took my Bible and felt led to read the book of Romans chapter eight.
And in verse twenty-eighth it says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

"That's right, my Lord. You do all things for our good. And I should trust in Your perfect plans."

Even though I was focused on my work, I had a small feeling of insecurity.
I would be lying if I were to say that I didn't feel slightly anxious about returning to Amazonas.
It's been ten years since I left.
Leaving my family and my friends and everyone I knew to fully seek God in all areas of my life.
When I finally accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I had to leave all of the religions I was involved in. That also meant leaving the people who were bound by those religions.
Even before I decided to leave, my parents were flabbergasted at the oppositions I showed towards their respective religions. And when I turned eighteen, they told me to not be counting on them on anything. I could leave and go wherever I wanted, but they didn't want anything to do with me and my so-called new found way of life.
At eighteen, I was independent and considered an adult. And by the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I came to the south of Brazil.
I tried contacting my family, especially my siblings when I arrived in the State of São Paulo. But they didn't want anything to do with me. So, I persistently sent them letters each year until my Lord told me to let it go. And as stubborn as I was, I did let go. Though, a day didn't pass by that I didn't pray for them.

"Do You really want me to go there?"

"Do you not trust in Me?"

"I do trust You, my Lord."
I was going to add "but", but I stopped myself remembering that adding "but" would just show that I didn't trust.

"So, help my unbelief, my Lord. Help me fully trust in You."

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The next morning, I woke up with a sense of carefreeness as if everything is going to be fine. Because everything is going to be fine.
I worshipped and prayed longer since today was Saturday, and I didn't work on Saturdays. I didn't even check my emails on Saturdays and I always let my clients know that. I may work at home, but I had days off too.
But on Sundays, I was more lax. I did some work when I wasn't busy with church activities. And because of great communication with my clients, they knew when to contact me or not.