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Sade Abe (1905-?)

Why hello ! Thank you for tuning into my show ! I am your host : The Paffsta , the tricksta , the jokesta. What's crackin' , busters ?- Oh ?! , I raise my eyebrows. I pick up the book. You wanna know about this book I have here ? Well , sit tight , and allow me to read you this bedtime story. PAFF's gonna tell you alllll about it , I say while smiling with dimples and sparkling teeth that sparkle like stars.

I sit on my sofa chair in the corner of the room with one knee over the other and book in hand. I've got the fireplace going. you can see it's light dimly touching the wood floor and hear it in the background as it crackles and pops.

I adjust the collar on my red robe and clear my throat. Without further ado , let us begin. So once upon a time there was a very friendly Japanese prostitute and geisha who murdered her "LOVER" , Kichizo Ishida after erotic asphyxiation... which is the fancy way of saying : " Yeah. I strangled my man after we made love. and cut off his dick then stuck it in my kimono afterwards. We all have rough nights like that , right ladies ? Ahahaha , pass the champagne , Suzy ! "

I guess she wanted to use it as a gory , flabby little play-thing later , huh ? that's like , on a whole new level of kink !

She was released after five years of prison...

Hell , in today's society , you could do as much as look at the law the wrong way and get twenty. I guess murder and decapitation were mere pettiness back then. The justice system as a whole has really come a long way.

She went on to write an autobiography , became a celebrity and pissed off to God-knows-where. Her death is a mystery.

I quickly raise my finger in air. " But wait ! " That's not all , gentlemen... and not-so-gentle women ! Her parents sold... YES ! SOLD , y'know , like the same way you would sell your used items on eBay. These parents sold their own daughter of flesh and blood to a geisha house in Yokohama when she was sixteen due to her being a troubled teen !! I just want you to let that soak in for a moment.

Cause she never got past the rank of legal sex worker , she eventually contracted syphilis. shorty afterwards , she was , as the kids these days , ' yeeted ' from the geisha house... yep ! I I shake my head. our youth has some retarded slang. Um , anywho , later down the line in her early thirties - she worked at the whore house instead. She stole money from clients and escaped the house after several attempts. Then she began working as a waitress , but they were paying her like shit , so she quit , became a hooker again , stopped hooking once more and began working at a restaurant , where she met our dazzling chad , Kichizo. Unfortunately -- we all know shit hits the fan from there. Now , some of you may have ended up inside the wrong hole and woke up the next morning pissing razor blades. I twirl a Switchblade and point it at the camera , wearing a cheeky smirk on my face. But imagine it getting spilt ! you see a red circle fill the screen.