[ TiTLE : BLANK ]

Björk Stalker (1975-1996)

Ricardo López was a 21 year old man that had a little obsession with our girl , Björk. Y'know , he only attempted to kill the chick by mailing her a letter bomb that was rigged with sulfuric acid. We all have days like that , I'm sure. Anyways , Ricardo lived in a apartment... or as I refer to it : a filthy shit hole that more than likely reeked of rotting corpses with a hint of masturbation sprinkled in somewhere considering all the trash surrounding it , and the shit and piss buckets that were just causally sitting under his desk.

Ricardo made quite the number of video diaries on his plan to assassinate our girl and to blow out whatever little brain tissue and/or cells he had left with a pistol , so they'd be together for eternity. his reason for doing so all because she was dating a black man at the time named Goldie. Ricardo thought Björk deserved to be punished for this. He was all like , "how dare you choose this nigger over me ?" Well Ricardo , aside from the obvious shit , maybe it's because that nigger at the very least has working toilets. you on the other hand have the pots to piss in but can't even find the window to throw it out of !

Throughout his diaries he expresses how much he hates himself and his body...  but that doesn't stop him from filming himself walking around with his dick and man-tits just flapping about for the poor agents that had that to sit through all of his tapes. His plan failed. HARD. His letter made it nowhere near Björk. Hell , it wouldn't have made it to her at all. I doubt she was ever just sitting on her ass reading fan mail. She doesn't even respond to her Twitter dm's now. Anyways , Ricardo flimed his suicide and died alone... the end. Oh , Goldie and Björk broke up , like , sometime right before his "ATTACK". Björk also sent flowers to this mad lad's family and claimed she couldn't sleep for days after hearing about this.

MY FINAL COMMENT : so what did we learn from
tonight's bedtime story , children ? hopefully , it's how to NOT assassinate our celebrity crush. you gotta do what you gotta do out there , boys , but do it better than Ricardo , y'hear ?