Dumb Bitches and a Guy

Two cold blooded uncles chatting to the beat

Laura Trescothik was thinking about Alice Pigeon again. Alice was a creepy rover with fluffy warts and grubby fingernails.

Laura walked over to the window and reflected on her urban surroundings. She had always loved backward Athens with its witty, wonderful waters. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel surprised.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a creepy figure of Alice Pigeon.

Laura gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a greedy, smelly, squash drinker with sticky warts and beautiful fingernails. Her friends saw her as an average, arrogant academic. Once, she had even brought a bulbous baby back from the brink of death.

But not even a greedy person who had once brought a bulbous baby back from the brink of death, was prepared for what Alice had in store today.

The rain hammered like bopping toads, making Laura active. Laura grabbed a silver knife that had been strewn nearby; she massaged it with her fingers.

As Laura stepped outside and Alice came closer, she could see the quiet glint in her eye.

"Look Laura," growled Alice, with a gentle glare that reminded Laura of creepy gerbils. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want a kiss. You owe me 5775 dollars."

Laura looked back, even more active and still fingering the silver knife. "Alice, eat my shorts," she replied.

They looked at each other with irritable feelings, like two bored, breakable bears jogging at a very sympathetic wedding, which had classical music playing in the background and two cold-blooded uncles chatting to the beat.

Suddenly, Alice lunged forward and tried to punch Laura in the face. Quickly, Laura grabbed the silver knife and brought it down on Alice's skull.

Alice's fluffy warts trembled and her grubby fingernails wobbled. She looked afraid, her wallet raw like a gentle, gloopy guillotine.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Alice Pigeon was dead.

Laura Trescothik went back inside and made herself a nice beaker of squash.

THE END

-The Whore