Sinister secrets

Shut up and drive

Troye pov

I know I should have been a bit nicer but I had to get out.
I wish I could tell them why I'm really at the house but they'd never believe me. I needed to get out but more importantly I needed drink. I was never a particularly mean or angry drunk more of a forgot everything and be really happy before the slow descent back to depression. It was always good for the song writing process though. So I went to the store and bought some vodka and beer before heading back to the car.

I couldn't go back to the house, not while everyone was awake and it was only 1pm so it would be a while before they went to sleep. I went to my favourite place in Melbourne a little forest, I used to go there when we visited our family in Melbourne but they moved to Perth so they could be closer to us. So I went to the woodland area and walked around for a bit before I rolled up my sleeves sitting down in the process, I ran a finger over the tattoos and winced in doing so, I had originally got the tattoos to cover the scars but then I realised that if I cut on the pattern of the ink it wasn't as noticeable unless a you were looking really carefully or If you felt my arm. The patterns are long and intricate so it's not like I'd run out of space soon.
Last nights ones were particularly bad though and my right arm still had a slight reddish tinge to it from all from all the blood since the cuts had bled for so long. I knew I shouldn't have been doing it but I didn't feel like I had a choice everything had started to become to much and I knew that eventually I would slip up again and people would find out.
I could barely live with myself now, God knows what I would do if I fucked up again.

I didn't mean it to happen but it still made me a monster. Here I go again trying (and failing) to reason with myself. I cracked open the first beer can knowing I would probably end up buying more anyways.

Tanya pov

"Caspar calm down he'll be fine."I said also trying to convince myself.

"I'm still trying to figure out if he is just being a moody teenager or whether or not something's actually wrong."Marcus stated sitting down on the couch.

Just then Zoe walked in clearly worried.

"Caspar what did Troye have with him when he came up from the kitchen?"she asked quickly

"Just Nutella and a spoon why?" Caspar replied

"Well what would his need for a knife be?"Zoe asked before looking over at me.

A sudden realisation dawned on me.

"You don't think...?"I asked trailing off not wanting to say what I was implying.

"Well I really hope not."she said worriedly "but it could explain a lot."

"What are you two on about?"Alfie asked suddenly.

"We think Troye might self harm."Zoe answered cautiously.

"Why do you think that?"Caspar asked

"Well 1st why would he have needed a knife 2nd if it was just an accident why wouldn't he show me his arm and 3rd he seems to just wear long sleeves you would think with all the tattoos he would want to show his arms off."she continued

"Yeah I guess so but I really hope he doesn't."Alfie murmured

Caspar got up and walked away.

"When do you think he'll be back?"I asked

"Well didn't he say he went away for days at a time..."Zoe replied

"Yeah but he doesn't live near here does he?"Marcus asked

"No I guess not, we'll just have to wait and see."she said thoughtfully

"ZOE YOU DIDNT SAY HOW MUCH BLOOD THERE WAS!!!" Caspar yelled from what I assumed was the kitchen before quickly coming back through looking panic stricken.