Once upon a time (Bill Kaulitz fanfiction)

Chapter 23

Though we were facing –I was on the bed, he was on the couch- we barely looked at each other. We moved even less, like we were trapped in ice. A melody came back to my mind as my mouth started in a weak voice:

"All along it was a fever

A cold sweat hot-headed believer…"

Bill didn't twitch a muscle. His expression was just like Tom's, with the same pouty mouth and dark look in his eyes. I tried to approach him and take his hand but he instantly withdrew it. I didn't move from my place as I bluntly explained it all, like I'd been explaining Tom, this time not missing a single detail of that horrible day.

"I swear… I swear I wanted to go back in the elevator and tell you it was all a lie. But I knew the lady wouldn't let me… and I was scared you wouldn't listen anyway. All I'm saying is the whole truth, no less, no more. Bill… I wished with all my might I could have another moment, one last second with you."

His eyes remained expressionless. I might as well have tried to apologize to the wall and probably gotten a better result. All hope was lost to me. I sighed.

"So... here's how it ends. I guess I deserve it. I'm the one responsible; I should have known you were better than just falling for a song and a touch of the hand. You're romantic but you're not dumb. I am. I definitely am. Alright... I understand. I'll go now. You soon won't be hearing of me anymore. But before that, I just wanted you to know that I tried. You're the only I truly loved, Bill, with all my soul. And I'm proud of our story, even if we had to fight sometimes just to get to contact each other. You're an amazing human being who made me believe in myself. So I wanted at least to thank you for all the great moments we shared together. I even did this…" I said and unrolled my sleeve to reveal the little bird and clover of the pendant I had tattooed on my wrist: "So you'll remain in my skin until my death, even beyond death. Only worms will be able to take it from me."

I looked at his face; he hadn't moved. But it didn't matter, I knew it was too late. So I leaned down and whispered in his ear with a kiss on the cheek:

"Farewell, Mackie."

When I closed the door behind me, there was no regrets. I did the right thing, even if it didn't turn out the way I hoped it would. At least I had said all the things I wanted to tell him and my heart was now serene again. When I went to leave the floor, Tom's door opened and we faced each other:

"How did it go?" He murmured.

I shook my head and he looked disappointed.

"It's okay." I replied. "I should have known that there are things in this world that sometimes cannot be forgiven, no matter how hard you try."

I then turned my back at him to leave but he put his hand on my shoulder:

"Wait, there's something I wanna give you."

He opened his hand and I saw it was another couple of tickets for tomorrow night with places next to the front stage. He also had a black bracelet with a silver clover in the middle.

"He says he doesn't want to keep it."

I looked at him and put it on, but it was too large for my wrist and kept on falling. I gave him a sad smile:

"Even his gift rejects me."

"Please tell me you'll go to the concert tomorrow night. We'll probably never meet again afterwards!"

"I will. Even if I think you're doing that just to make me pay." I sighed. "So, see you tomorrow, the four of you."

He took me in his arms and held me tight. He didn't smell like his brother's cologne. I was already missing it again.