don't forget about us

tormented

I'm surrounded by strangers. asking my name, asking if I can move. I try too and intense pain shoots through my body, making me feel inhuman. A bunch of blurred faces are infront of me.

"Clay?" I question them, looking as much as I can for his friendly face. Tears well up in my eyes when I realise he isn't here.

Did he get hit too? I have to find him. yelps turn to screams when I try to get up, but a woman takes hold of my arm

"Don't try to move dear stay still until the ambulance arrives" among the crowd her face is friendly, and trusting, I reach for her hand and to my surprise she holds it, telling me I'll be okay

I hear sirens in the distance, they're so hollow in my head. I raise my free hand to my head and it come back patched in blood.

I know help is coming. But my hope and my fears are overwhelming me, i look up to the sky and all I see is white blinding light, I feel obliged to go to it, my soul moving towards the light that offers hope, and freedom from the pain I'm feeling.

But my mind screaming for it to come back. And I don't know which one I want to follow, I feel helpless. Lay in the road with stranger all around me, where is Clay? Is he okay? Did I not get to him in time?

my fears are realised when I hear a gasp of pain from behind me. I tilt my head as much as it hurts and I see him, sprawled out on the pavement, he reaches for my hand and I tell him he's going to be okay

"Hannah?" His voice is full of confusion. But it's when he sees me, that it all clicks. And as much as I wanted to run into his arms, to even touch him, immense pain overtakes my body and I start hyperventilating. Somethings wrong.

I can't breathe, it feels like I'm being crushed from the inside out. The intensity, the terror, it all distracted me from the pain I'd give anything to numb.

I look at Clay, his eyes full of tears and faded hope. And all I see is my boy on the bike, the love of my life, my helmet.

And that's the last thing I see.

HOURS LATER - CLAYS POV

"Her names Hannah Baker she was hit by a car at high speed, we need to start CPR immediately"

Thousands of voices tower over me. Haunting me. My mom and dad immediately come to the hospital. the fear all over their faces, but I'm only focused on one thing. Hannah.

A doctor steps outside of Hannah's room and walks over to us.

"I'm so sorry...we have to stop" is all he has to say before my world comes crushing down. I start screaming at them.

"No!!! Don't stop!! Don't stop!!" I yell through the glass banging it to get their attention. Mr and Mrs Baker rush through the doors and we catch a glance. A glance that told me one thing.

We were both in severe pain.

The doctor tries to reassure us but I don't want to hear their excuses. Instead I leave the hospital and collapse onto a nearby bench. My head in my hands, unable to stop wailing. All of my demons becoming reality.

Living my worst nightmare.

mom comes outside and tells me to come back inside, because I still need to be treated for my head injury. But I don't care about me. I care about Hannah!!!

And it's then that I realise.

"HELMET!!!" I hear a high pitched scream and I'm knocked to the ground, I look up just in time to see a figure hit the floor. And I know who it is just by the nickname they used.

"No!!! SOMEBODY HELP!!" My screams erupting the street, I go to walk over to her but I go dizzy, I lose control and I fall to the floor, my hand landing so close to Hannah's, as I close my eyes unwillingly.

She saved my life.

"Clay? Clay honey talk to me.."

"Shes gone, she's gone" is all I can repeat, feeling so defeated. So broken. So to blame. This is all my fault. All of it!

"I should have stayed with her." Is all I can say before I descend into tears and anger

"This is your fucking fault!!" I point at my mom angrily.

She goes to speak but I don't give her the chance.

"All that family bonding rubbish! I'm a teenager mom I don't care about that!!"

"Clay..."

"No! I'm sick of it! I'm staying with Tony for the next few days, just get out of my sight!!" I yell at her. So out of control. She runs away in tears and that's when the guilt floods in

"Mom...mom I'm sorry" I yell after her, breaking down for the third time in 30 seconds. I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do?

Everything's gone. All of it...