Right Hook (Gaslight series) COMPLETE

11| All part of the facade

Alyssa ♔
_______________

It's getting harder and harder to pretend. To pretend that I'm fine, that I'm happy with Justin, that my family is normal. It feels like any second, the facade I've spent the last five years building is going to come tumbling down.

It wasn't always like this. I wasn't always the popular girl or the girl boys sought after, but when high school started, we were forced to pick a role. Who did we want to spend the next few years being? Whatever decision you made would stick until graduation; you had to pick wisely. 

I'd already spent middle school being bullied for the way my ears stuck out, and I'd decided then and there that I would never be low down on that totem pole again; I'd be right at the top.

The summer before high school, Mom booked me in to get my ears pinned back. We spent the remainder of the summer at the spa or in different salons, and I started high school the same way I'd planned to finish it: on a pedestal. Now I don't know if it was worth it. 

Despite the fact we were supposed to head next door for the fight, Justin ends up driving me home. I'm exhausted by the time we pull up to the house. I don't know whether it's because I've drunk too much, or because Justin spent the last thirty minutes giving me the same old speech: I'm sorry for hurting you, you know I hate when other guys look at you, it's only because I love you. That speech fooled me once upon a time, before he cheated on me, but now it just reminds me that I'm trapped until my parents say otherwise.

I sneak up to my bedroom and into the bathroom, where I take off my lashes and makeup. The part of my arm where Justin grabbed me is already marked with red fingerprints. It's not the first time his jealousy has resulted in a bruise; it won't be the last.

I change into my pajamas just as Lilo's meows call through the door. The second I open it, she scrambles up the side of my bed, where she takes her position on my pillow. I crawl in beside her and pull her to my chest, burying my face in her fur.

Sometimes, it's the little things that make me feel better, the small reminders that there is more to life than just money and politics and pointless high school drama. Or at least, there should be. 

***

Both parents are gone by the time I wake up, which means I have the kitchen to myself. I whip up some eggs and a steaming espresso before getting ready for school. 

Marnie and Tiana are waiting at my locker. There's always this feeling I get as I walk to them, like I'm preparing for an ambush. This place–and these people–are so unpredictable that you never quite know what you're walking into. 

"Hey," Marnie says, eyeing me carefully. "Feel like I haven't seen you in forever." 

I'm instantly on high alert. I've spent every day this week going to Burbank to train, which means I've been blowing off Gymnastics practice and our regular shopping trips. I'd hoped they wouldn't notice–or care–but I should have known better. 

"Oh, I know," I say, opening my locker. "My mom's on a real health kick this week and wanted to spend some 'quality time' with me at the spa and salon."

Marnie glances at my nails as I put away my things. "You should get a refund. Your nails look like shit." 

I tense when I remember I'd taken them off. "Eyebrow salon," I correct. "Nail appointment's tonight." I turn to her now, knowing I need to say something to end this interrogation. I lean in closer and study her face. "Come to think of it, you look like you could use a little something. Your monobrow is starting to come back."