Well.. Where do I start.. It's been a couple of years since that incident happened and I decided to forgive you with the thought that you would never apologize. I don't hold grudges and I've been completely over that situation for awhile so there was no point in staying upset with you. We aren't in each other's lives like that and we barely talk unless it's the simple "happy birthday" or "merry Christmas". Plus how could I stay mad at you over something like that..
On Saturday September 12th I was looking for houses online like I normally do because my family wants to move. Then I came across this one house it was all the above for us and it was cheap. When I was showing my mom the pictures of the house I realized that it was your house. At first I didn't believe it until I saw Romeo's cage. I was surprised, hurt, confused, basically all the above. I didn't believe it. I had to go text you. Turns out it was true..you were moving and in 4 days.. ain't that just crazy... When you told me you were moving I honestly didn't know how to feel. It was a fat mix of emotions. And what makes it even funnier is I don't know why I care. Maybe because you were the first guy I ever liked that. Who knows?? I've always used to think "well maybe I'll see him at a football game" "maybe we'll run into each eventually" but now you will be gone out of my life forever (unless our paths cross of course). Ain't that crazy.. I was sad over you the whole day. I just didn't want to believe that you were just leaving like that. When I told you how I felt you told me I should be optimistic so then I got out of my feelings and started being optimistic about the situation. Then you texted me this.
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I was scared shitless I thought you were going to like attack me about that situation or just be on some bs.. but instead you said this.. "I just wanted to officially apologize for the shit I did to you back in 7th grade. I knew you had feelings for me and I took advantage of that. I was immature and didn't think about anybody else but myself. Now I know that was about 3 years ago and that it doesn't even cross your mind anymore, but after mentally "growing up" I gues you could say, I definitely looked back at the mistakes I made. You were definitely a good friend to me, and even though didn't treat you the best, you were always there for me. If not the only person there for me. I don't even feel like I deserve the chance to apologize to you. As a friend, Im sorry.
The reason I hesitated from apologizing is for the reason I told you before, and also because my anxiety creates different scenarios as an outcome lmao so I dont know what to expect.
Im not here to prove anything to you, just to apologize. And I definitely mean it.
This probably isn't what you wanted to hear today, but seeing as I leave in 3 days and you randomly decided to text me lmao then I just thought this was the right time.
This might seem like one of those fake apologies and I dont mean it like that. I dont know maybe thats just in my head."
Well...When I read that I was crying so much..I've never felt so..happy. It took me 20 mins to even respond haha. It felt like I could finally just let go of everything. Although I had already forgiven you for what you did with the mindset that you'll never apologize for what you did and I moved on from it. I never fully let go. Anytime it was brought up it would always put me in my feelings because it makes me sad that whole situation happened to me. Thinking about my mindset at the time too kills me and how much pain I was in over a guy that never liked me back and it definitely has affected me and the way I am now. So you apologizing made me so happy. It was a burden lifted from chest and I feel like can truly just breathe. So thank you
