It's Just Business

Zealots

Spring is by far my favorite time of year. The weather isn't too hot or too cold, buds start blooming, grass starts growing, and crime rates start raising. Despite my favorite season being just around the corner, I still couldn't manage even a slight smile. It was going to be another dull day, I could feel it. I stood in front of my floorlength mirror so I could examine myself in the third outfit I had tried on, in less than 30 minutes. I sighed, still not satisfied but too tired to change again, and put on my jacket.

The door burst open and Dr. John Watson, my serious partner, walked in holding today's paper.

"You really should knock Watson, one of these days I could be naked." I stated as I straightened my tie.

"Holmes, I cannot count, on one hand, the amount of times I have walked into an investigation only to find you handcuffed, while in the nude, with no key in sight. Nothing surprises me anymore."

I sat down in my favorite old armchair and picked at my nails in boredom. Our dog Toby whined from where he lay, paralyzed.

"Oh good Lord! What have you done to the poor dog again?" Watson rushed over to Toby with his ever present stethoscope.

Mrs. Hudson, the landlady, walked in to the apartment with her eyes closed.

"are you decent Holmes? I wouldn't want to have to wash my eyes out with soap again." In her hands she held a tray with the morning tea.

"he's dressed Mrs. Hudson, though I'm fairly sure you will still need to clean your eyes." Said Watson pointedly.

She opened her eyes and gasped, "By gods, has a tornado passed through your rooms? I was in here just yesterday and everything was fine!"

"Everything is exactly where it should be, nanny. You can set that down right there." I pointed to a stack of teetering books. I made no move to help and, instead, grabbed my violin and began to play a jovial tune.

"Oh when I see you finally killed the dog! Shall I grab a shovel?!" She exclaimed.

"Do calm yourself nanny. He isn't dead, just paralyzed. I was testing a new sedation drug of my own invention. After 33 tries I do believe I have found the perfect batch. Don't fret, he should be just fine in about 30 minutes." I continued to ignore Mrs. Hudson's irritation.

Miss Hudson let out a noise that could only be described as pure exhaustion.

"Tired nanny, perhaps hung over?" I said straightening in my seat. I sat down my violin, steepled my fingers, and began to analyze Mrs. Hudson.

"Oh no no, don't you try your detective voodoo on me Holmes. Keep your inquiries to yourself! My life is mine alone thank you!" She stormed out of the room with a huff.

I smiled at her retreating form.

"You should stop tormenting that poor woman Holmes." Watson sat down in the armchair next to me and opened the paper.

"Oh but she is the only amusing part of my days." I sighed and asked, "what jobs are there today? No, let me guess, a stolen necklace, a missing tabby, oh I've got it, a runaway groom?!" I let loose a long exasperated breath and picked up my violin again.

"Well we are taking all that we can get, even if it is just a missing tabby. You have got to leave this apartment Holmes. You've been in here, experimenting with God knows what, for too long. You have get out!" He scanned the paper for a bit before smacking it with his hand, "See here, a building mysteriously caught on fire; the tenants are calling it witchcraft."

"One of the tenants set ablaze in order to forgo paying rent." I rolled my eyes.

"All right what about this, 'Man found dead with two fingers and two toes missing.'" He looked up expectantly.