philophobia | soukoku

pansy

(tw: emetophobia and blood near the end)

the next day was filled with confusion.

dazai didn't tell anyone about the coughing or the flower petals. in all honesty, he thought that everyone would say he was crazy. if anything, he was scared. people don't cough up flower petals...right?

what even caused it? he was perfectly fine not even five minutes before he started coughing.

and he just knew chuuya would never let him live something like that down.

chuuya...

"something on your mind, dazai-kun?"

dazai's train of thought was interrupted by mori checking on him. he looked up to see his boss looking down at him. "you look like you're pondering something." mori advised.

dazai looked back down. "sorry, mori-san." he apologized. he hesitated. "may i ask a question?"

"you may."

"you're a doctor, right?" dazai asked, obviously knowing mori was. "is it possible for someone to ever cough up flowers?"

an expression of warning now placed itself on mori's face. he was frozen. "why do you ask?" he asked in a lower tone.

dazai's blood went cold. that's really not good. "i-i saw a suicide method in my book." he lied. "i wanted to see if it was actually true, because i didn't think someone would be able to do that. it sounded like an artistic way to go." dazai wasn't good at many things, but he was an expert at lying.

mori's gaze turned softer. "don't worry about it, dazai-kun." he brushed off the question. "and stop looking into all of those. most of those methods are ridiculous, anyway." he ruffled the boy's hair lightly, getting up and leaving his office.

dazai kept his stare on the ground.

don't worry about it...

dazai stood up, keeping his head down as he exited mori's office and walking down the hallway. mori telling him not to worry about it only made him worry more. he was desperate to find out what was happening to him, curiosity clawing at his insides.

while he was lost in thought, he accidentally bumped into someone else. "oh, i'm sorry-"

never mind.

the person he bumped into was none other than chuuya.

dazai's eyebrows knitted together. "i take it back." he said deadpan.

"oh, fuck you!" chuuya bickered, punching dazai's arm.

"aw, deep down you know you care about me~" dazai teased, pushing chuuya's hat over his eyes. stop flirting stop flirting stop flirting.

"i most certainly do not!" chuuya spat, fixing his hat. "you can die and i wouldn't cry a single tear for you." he crossed his arms sassily.

"thank you, that's very thoughtful."

"i'm being mean!" chuuya protested. "let me be mean to you!"

dazai smirked, trying his very best to hide the blush he could feel creeping onto his face. "no can do, because then you would be hurting my feelings." he responded.

"that's the point, jackass." chuuya growled.

at this point, dazai couldn't tell whether what he had was a crush or if it was just a degradation kink.

before he could respond, he felt the itch in the back of his throat. the same one as the previous night.

oh no.