What If I Said I Love You?

Why Do We Do What We Do?

Jade's POV

Have you ever been so driven to win something that you cried when you lost it all? Did it feel like you've tried so hard, yet you accomplished absolutely nothing? Only just to make you feel like you've disappointed everyone?

Did the loss make you feel like all the hard work you did was for nothing? Because for me, that's exactly what it felt like when Vega finally gave up on me. It felt like my world slipped away, and I had to let it go. It felt like my heart was shattered into a million pieces. Right in front of me and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

One day, she just gave up. I knew she would eventually get tired of dealing with me. Everyone does, so I don't blame her, which is ironic because that's the first thing I do when my plan doesn't work.

Pin the blame on someone else. I would have given up on me too. I'm a sorry excuse for a human being. My parents think so, that's why they refuse to spend time with me, or be seen in public with me. No, this isn't a suicide note.

All I'm saying is, due to my inability to be kind, I've created this monster. I never meant to, but I'm broken and instead of showing it off for everyone to see, I hide behind a facade. It's honestly way too much work being this mean, but I have to be.

Last time I was nice, I got hurt in an unimaginable way. It was the ultimate betrayal. And from the person I trusted with my whole heart. But there it was. On the ground in a million little pieces.

And this is why I appear to be a scary monster. I have a soft side, or had. I tried to eliminate it after Beck broke my heart. I don't know if soft Jade still exists, but being a monster is causing me pain.

And not the good kind. It's hurting me more than I thought it would. It especially hurt me more than anyone ever could. Even more than Beck could.

And he cheated on me. Monster Jade hurt Vega, so I gotta be nicer to her to get her to trust me again. Eventually she'll trust me again and we'll be friends, I guess.

I'm not good with relationships. It seems like the sweet, loving, kind, patient, always bouncing back from insult after insult, Tori Vega has finally given up on me.

Tori's POV

I wish Jade would trust me. I know she puts on an act because it's easier for her to be mean to everyone than to open up and be vulnerable. She believes that everyone will just hurt her so she keeps them at an arm's reach. And I don't blame her. It's reasonable to react the way she does.

But I hope she knows that not everyone is like that. Sometimes people actually want to help and see you be happy. Not everyone will try to gain your trust and shatter it in a matter of seconds by betraying you in the most cruel way imaginable.

Besides, I'm the second nicest person in our group besides Cat. I don't see why Jade can't just trust me. If she's afraid I'll do the same thing Beck did, I would trade everything I have to make her understand I won't hurt her like Beck did.

Unfortunately, she hates me more than wet door knobs, panties, ducks, cilantro, the ocean, dolphins, and the rest of her list. So she'll never give me a chance.

You know what they say, "Dream on! Cause you'll never actually get the chance."

Maybe I should take a hint and give up. Besides, a friendship like ours would be dysfunctional.

What am I thinking? That's a terrible idea. Jade needs someone now to support her and be there for her. Even though she'll never admit it. I'm not giving up on her.

I wanna be that person she goes to when she needs help. She came to me before, but that was awhile ago.

I see Jade coming to my door. And I can tell she's here by the way she's pounding the door.