𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 / fyodor x reader x gogol

ɪɪɪ. ꜱʜᴀᴅᴏᴡ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀꜱᴛ

If there is something that you were looking forward to, it was to go back to your apartment as soon as possible. All the paperwork and documentation for your relocation would be handled by Agatha and given her authority and influence, it could all be done with the snap of her fingers. You were always the one that was sent to the field instead of working behind a desk. As much as you were loyal to Agatha, a little part of you still felt reluctant to leave her side. You'd been working for years with the Order of the Clock Tower, and this will be the first time since forever that you will be sent away for such a long time - a full six months, to be precise. But these kinds of missions were always unpredictable, hell it wouldn't be a stretch to say you'd be away for longer.

Sighing softly, you glance up to see the Big Ben Tower leaving your rear mirror as you pressed the pedal to drive further, hands gripping at the leather of the steering wheel as you left the headquarters. It would be a long while before you can see her again - at least in person - and when it was all over, there would still be much preparation to make the necessary assets so you could even return to London, and as much as you had your reservations about the city it still gave you that feeling of being at home.

Oh, speaking of home... admittedly you don't particularly feel like you actually had one if not for Agatha, who is none other than your benefactor. She helped you when you were lost and have nowhere to go, offering you a position to work with her, an action you were eternally grateful for her benevolence. If not you would be starved to death by the side road, begging for a penny to survive just another day. But the thought still pulls a string of memory that you have tried hard to repress after what has happened to your family. It's something that you don't want to talk about. You'd rather it buried, deep, deep within the labyrinth of your mind. The truth that you once knew but you choose to forget, but while the actual events weren't something that easily came to mind, the feeling of despair and horror had yet to leave your mind. You pressed the pedal again and sped up your car, ignoring all the details that passed around you like it didn't matter.

But can you really run away from it?

Who knows really. You can only hope it will eventually fade away and vanish into obscurity. It's just a shadow of your past after all, and you won't let it define who you are now. Parking your car in it's spot, you left the vehicle, grabbing your bag and keys before heading up to your flat. Climbing the stairs to your floor, you arrived in front of your door, unlocking it and pulling at the doorknob. As you closed the door behind you, sliding the lock and latch back into place you could feel the greeting of your loyal companion who had evidently been waiting for you patiently at the door as if welcoming you back home. It gave you comfort to know that your cat is waiting for you. At least, you weren't alone in this apartment all by yourself.

"Myshkin!" you grinned, greeting the Russian blue with a wide smile, "I'm home."

As for Prince Myschikin meowed back to you as a response, rubbing his face to your leg with a low pur. You felt as though you might just melt right then and there from the warmth that flooded your chest. Stooping down you scooped him up to your chest, discarding your bag and shoes in their usual spot as you dumped your keys in their dish, cuddling your cat in your embrace. Just his simple companionship was enough for you to feel practically flooded with serotonin and dopamine.

After all, just because you could royally screw up and destroy someone's mind doesn't mean you want to mess up with yours, right? He has been there for you when you are at the lowest point of your life and gives you that little nudge that you need to move forward when you almost want to give up. Perhaps it was sad that Myshkin is the only one that you have a completely stable and healthy relationship with, but that was fine with you as you don't have to worry what he thinks about you.