We'll Be Ok, You And I

The Day After

Marinette couldn't sleep.

Her body felt heavy, aching with an exhaustion that her Miraculous Cure had been able to soothe but not get rid of entirely. She supposed it was a mark of how difficult the final showdown had been.

But, whilst her body was beaten and in desperate need of rest, her mind was the opposite. Every time she closed her eyes, flashes of the battle rattled her brain. Dark, twisted, shocking memories wove their way through her mind, wrapping their dark tendrils around her and squeezing tight. There was no respite.

Finding Hawkmoth's lair at the Agreste manor.

Discovering Hawkmoth was Gabriel Agreste.

The reveal that Chat Noir was Adrien, and watching him fall to pieces when he discovered his mother's comatose body.

A tiny, horrendous moment, where Ladybug was worried Gabriel had sunk his manipulative hooks into Chat Noir. A terrifying second where Ladybug feared she was all alone.

The memories haunted her and she suppressed a shudder. Defeating Hawkmoth didn't feel like the triumph she assumed it would. Why did it feel like a loss instead? Why, in the midst of their triumph, did she feel like she'd lost something? And what even was that something? Was it her childhood, her innocence? Her best friend, who was currently sleeping on her sofa, had she lost Chat Noir? He seemed so broken, and she was so out of her depth. There was no Miraculous Cure that could fix this.

Marinette sat up, careful not to disturb a slumbering Tikki, and brought a trembling hand to her mouth. Her parents always told her that bottling up her emotions wasn't healthy, that she needed to let them out in order to move on. And usually she was good at that. But this? There'd been no preparing for the sheer weight of these emotions. It was like she was fighting with all her might not to be crushed by them. She had cried for Adrien, but she couldn't cry for herself. If she cried, she was worried she'd never stop. If she let it out, she was terrified that there would be no turning back, no recovery. She'd scream and scream and that would be all that was left of her.

She inhaled sharply, pressing her lips together hard, as if that could stop the tears.

"It's ok," she whispered, when the need to cry subsided a little. "It's ok. It's over. It's ok."

Why did that feel like a lie? Why couldn't she stop shaking?

Eventually she calmed her shaking body but her mind was still relentless. There would be no sleep for her tonight. Caught between exhaustion, frustration and despair, she crawled out of bed and crept down stairs.

Everything was dark. It was a cloudy night. No moon to keep her company. The lights from the city pooled through the windows in the living area, where Adrien was curled up asleep on the sofa. Despite her eyes adjusting to it, the gloom was oppressive, like humid air before a summer storm.

She needed some water. That was all. A cool glass of water to hopefully soothe all ails. Maybe a bit of chocolate. Marinette knew that she shouldn't be eating sweet treats so late at night but, hey, she'd just saved a city from certain doom. She deserved some god damn chocolate.

"You got any for me?" a voice from behind broke through the aggressive silence and Marinette yelped, accidentally throwing the chocolate in the air behind her.

"Woah!" Adrien dove forwards, reaching out and catching the bar between his palms. Even in the semi-dark, Marinette could tell he was sheepish. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

His voice was rough and cracked. It sounded like Marinette's heart.

She shook her head. "It's ok, and yeah you can have some if you want. Actually, since we're both up I might make some hot chocolate if you're interested?"