Crestfallen

31: Too Intimate for You?

"No, you don't get it, I slap my hands over yours like this," I showed him carefully by moving my hands down against his, "and if I hit you, then I win. If you pull away fast enough, then you win. Got it?"

"Uh, I think so? Are you sure this is a real game? It seems made up," Jeremy said as he maneuvered his arms awkwardly, trying to follow my hand movements. Who would have thought it would be this hard to explain the game 'Stella Ella Ola' to someone?

"Ready to try for real this time?" I asked, holding out my hands, palm-up. He nodded hesitantly. "Okay, stella ella ola, clap clap clap, singin' ess chigo chigo, chigo chigo-- no." Jeremy's hands were all over the place, for some reason he couldn't grasp the concept of flipping his hands around. Without thinking, I reached out and grabbed his wrists. He paused for a moment before smirking.

"If you wanted to get frisky, you could have just asked." One of his green eyes momentarily concealed by a flirtatious wink. I rolled mine in return.

"Can you handle being touched by a girl? Or is that too intimate for you?" I mocked and he returned the gesture with the pursing of his lips and a glare. Gently, I lifted his hands and rotated them once we reached the top of the line, then brought them back down and repeated the process. On the second rotation, I noticed Jeremy was no longer staring at his hands, but at me.

"Can I ask you something?" he inquired, pulling his hands away from my grasp. "It's a little personal so just tell me if I'm pushing it." I nodded hesitantly. "How's your home life? I mean, I know you and your mom aren't on good terms, but that's about it."

I sighed, thinking it over. Could he use this against me? Would he? Deciding to have faith in human nature, I gave in. "I'll tell you, but on one condition. You answer a question of mine in return."

He thought it over for a moment, his usual fohawk now drooping a little against his forehead. "Alright, you first though." So I told him the same thing I had told Liam, maybe even a little more. I told him about Dave, my mom, and my fears for my sister, and he listened intently the whole time. When I finished, he kept staring at me and a slow blush started to rise on my cheeks.

"Well? That's it," I told him awkwardly, watching my toes wiggle in discomfort under my crossed legs.

"There must be some sort of court appeal," he said suddenly though his eyes were now on the floor, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. A bark of laughter escaped my lips.

"And tell them that my father is an alcoholic with no job? Yeah, they'd probably send me over there instead."

"Right," he said awkwardly. It seemed he didn't know what else to say and I assumed this didn't come very naturally to him so I decided to ask my question.

"So why do you live in this shack? Why not with your parents?" I asked, watching as he shuffled in discomfort against the floor. He continued to look at the floor as he thought over his answer.

"My parents got divorced about a year ago and in court they made me choose which parent I wanted to live with. I was still seventeen so I couldn't choose the living arrangements or anything and they had chosen it to be one or the other. I didn't get along with my mom that well because she was pretty strict and didn't want me to play football and--being the quarterback--I decided I wanted to play football, so I chose my dad. I lived with him for about seven months but within the first two months he met a girl and within five months they were getting married. I hated her. She was so fake, treated me like shit, and somehow made my dad treat me like shit too." His eyes were still planted to the floor though the green of his eyes seemed to shine a bit brighter.

"I stayed for two months after the marriage because I hoped the father I loved was there but--well, I guess it wasn't entirely my choice to leave. The woman, Sarah, invited a bunch of her friends over one night when my dad was working and a few of them tried to come on to me. I was pretty disgusted since they were all like, forty, but they kept trying. I tried to get to my room but they followed me-- I think they were drunk too, but when I was trying to get them all out of my room, Sarah told my father I was trying to take advantage of her and her friends and he came home immediately. All he saw was them clawing at my shirt and me trying to get them off and out of my room but he interpreted it as me trying to force them into my room. He told me to get out of the house right then and there or he would call the police and have me arrested and Sarah was looking pretty smug in the back. I just--" he clenched his knuckles tightly and closed his eyes really tightly, "--I live here because I don't think my mom will take me back. I mean, I chose them over her. Who could forgive someone for that?" Suddenly, a tear rolled down his cheek, ever so slowly. Once he realized it had slipped out, he reached up to wipe it away, though my hand somehow beat him to it. I didn't realize I was doing it until my hand was against his cheek and my thumb was wiping away the wetness.

His glossy eyes flickered up to meet mine. His lashes were slightly wet and I suddenly realized how close I had moved when I reached out to grab his cheek. I also didn't notice that my hand was still against his cheek. His eyes flickered to my lips but then he blinked harshly and suddenly looked away, removing his cheek from my hand. My hand lingered in the air for a moment but I quickly dropped it before he noticed.

"You know, I'm not a virgin, but I haven't slept with a single person since that disaster. To see how easy it is for someone to flip the story on you? I never want that to happen again," he confessed, eyes on the floor once more.

"Jeremy, it's winter, it's cold as shit outside, and honestly I don't know how you've survived this long in this pathetic little shack-- no offence. Go talk to your mom. It doesn't matter that you chose them over her, she's probably hurt, but she's also probably worried. She might be human like everyone else, but above that, she's your mother," I told him gently, hoping he'd understand what I was saying. Suddenly, his hands started shaking and he made tight fists in an attempt to stop them. Without thinking, I reached out and grabbed his hands. I scooted a little closer to him and placed his fists on my knees, rubbing little circles against the back of his hand until his hands relaxed and opened against my knees.

"I just-- how can you know?" His voice shook and it caused a pink tint to rise to his cheeks. Kiss them. My eyes widened at the sudden thought and I felt heat rise to my cheeks. I was thankful he was still looking at the floor otherwise I'd be mortified.

"She's your mom. Moms aren't normal people. They're like, superheroes or something," I told him with a little laugh.

"Then how come yours is more like a super villain?" he inquired quietly, his hands tightening a little against the fabric of my jeans. I couldn't even get mad at him for the question because it was entirely valid.

"Jeremy, you really don't know until you try, do you?" I asked, finally growing tired of his eyes on the floor. In a bold move that I was completely aware of this time, I reached out and lifted his chin so that his eyes were on mine. However, I made sure my hand didn't linger. His green eyes pierced mine and there were little droplets of water on the bottom rim of his lashes that hurt my heart.

"Let's make a deal then," he suggested with a lopsided smile. I nodded in agreement though I was unsure what deal he could be trying to make. "I'll go see her, but on two conditions. One, you come with me. Two, you come to the football game on Friday." That seemed reasonable, right?

"As my date," he finished.