Mi Manchi Kara Danvers

Even though I was on the verge of tears, I still tried to keep the Luthor mask up. I couldn't have Kara look me in the face and see any weakness, I was meant to hate her after all. She betrayed me, broke my heart. She lied to me for years and right when I was going to admit my damn feelings for her on that plane after I thought she died in the explosion in Kaznia I backed out, and now I can't do it. I need to hate her, she deceived me. Treated me like every single other person that has betrayed me has done. I could never forgive her.

I stayed silent while she spoke because I knew if I let my mask fall or if I met those enrapturing blue eyes, I would forgive her, and the truth would spill out. She went on, "If you decide to forgive me, I will be there for you. If you continue to work with Lex, if you go through with whatever it is the two of you are planning, I will do everything in my power to stop you. Just like I would any other villain." It then seemed like everything was happening in slow motion, watching her turn to fly off again and raising her hands in what seemed like defeat, I had won but I wanted to stop her so badly. I wanted this all to be over, but I betrayed myself and let her go again. I stood rooted to my spot, watching her take to the sky once again.

I didn't bother to finish making the tea I had started before Kara came. The familiar amber liquid was all I wanted, to drown myself in the bottle. Only an hour had passed but I was smashed. I ran my thumb over the S on the signal watch, but I never ended up having the courage to press the button. Instead opting to pass out on the couch.

The next day was slow, I couldn't get Kara's words out of my head. She is going to treat me like a villain, and I would never get to admit that I forgave her. So instead I got as much work done in the lab as possible, but I left around the same time Kara usually leaves Catco to confront her. As soon as I got there Nia was coming out obviously finishing for the day. She stopped and gave threw a small smile at me, "She's been working hard all day, she's still there though." She continued her way but stood beside me and put a hand on my shoulder, "Don't fuck up Lena."

And with that she was fully gone. I absentmindedly fiddled with my fingers on the way up in the elevator, I don't know why, Luthor's never have nerves. The doors finally opened and there she was, the Kara half up-do, with those glasses. She looked so beautiful, like she always does, this time in a cream pant suit, and sweater, typing away furiously. Then she came to an abrupt stop. It must have been my heartbeat or my familiar click of heels, but she paused and must have known it was me. She kept her head down but her eyes looked up at me, questioningly.

"Why are you here, Lena?" I knew she didn't want to talk to me or even see me again after I broke her heart. "What brings the billionaire CEO of L-Corp to an apparent shitty media place, if it wasn't good enough to keep." All of that was questioned while she continued to type, her ears still focusing on me though. She must have thought that low of me to think I sold Catco to Andrea just because I thought it wasn't enough to keep. Wow.

I could feel the familiar sting in my eyes just looking at her fatigued, malnourished face. I had broken her; I broke her heart. That's all I wanted, right? That's what I wanted, was for her to hurt the same that I did when she lied to me. But now, now I'm overcome with a hidden guilt, I broke her, sucked out her brightness and sunniness. I ruined the bright, bubbly Kara Danvers. My eyes continued to fill with tears, taking in all the features of her face, the circles under her eyes. The loss of vivid blue in them, now pale. The constant frown on her face. Her hair and clothing still looked neat, probably for people not to worry about her but everything else said she was meant to be worried about. I only then realized she was still waiting for me to answer her, how foolish of me. I was about to stick up for myself against her remark, but my brain betrayed me, and the terrifying 3 words came out...

"I love you." I breathed out. "Fuck." I whispered under my breath even though I knew she heard me with her super hearing and all. I was in deep shit now. I let out a nervous chuckle. "Oh my god, that just came flying out of my face...but just... like... I love you, oh I did it again. And I-I-I-I just I love you. I love you, okay, Kara. I love you and I've just been trying so hard not to say it for the past three years. I've just been trying to keep it locked away in a box for forever and forget about it. And you know, I kept saying that I hate you because I knew if I didn't say I hated you or that I didn't forgive you I would have said that I had forgiven you and those petrifying 3 words. I tried so hard to hate you but just I knew that would never work out because I am so in love with you."

Kara now looked up from her work, staring me in the eyes, mouth agape, just like when she came to my office with Clark after they had published the article. I knew I was rambling, but I just had to continue, "And it's like I can't get rid of you. It's like you're a disease, like I am infected by Kara sunshine Danvers." Pointing at her, a single tear falling. "And I can't do anything. I can't sleep, bot like I do much of that anyway. I can't breathe. I can't sleep and I just I love you all the time, every minute of every day. I. Love. You." I paused letting her process my rapid rambling. "God that just feels great to get out and just finally say 3 years later." I finally finished my rambling, more tears continuing to leak from my eyes. She still stood there; mouth still dropped. Oh no I probably scared her; I should probably leave.

"Wha-what?" she stuttered through her words.

"I love you Kara. I'm in love with you. I've always been in love with you. I will always be in love with you." Was all I could respond with, still amazed I said it in the first place.

"Lee- "

"You don't have to say anything Kara. I came here to apologise but shit, I just told you what I swore never to tell you." I turned to leave, only then feeling the warmth of Kara's fingers wrapping around my wrist.

"Don't go. Please"

Before I could turn around, she spoke again, "I know why you're not going to turn around Lena. You're thinking I'm going to be disgusted in you for loving me, but please let me speak." Her grip loosened on my pale wrist, giving me the chance to leave but I didn't. I just turned around, tears yet again dwelling in my eyes. I expected Kara to be standing right in front of me, but she had already vanished back behind her desk waiting for me to come over.

Ultimately that's what happened, my thigh high boots echoed through the silent office until I was appearing beside her at her desk, waiting for her to speak again. "Lena. I know I hurt you so much when I didn't share my secret with you. I know you're expecting some sort of reprimand from me because you said you love me. When I came by your balcony, I didn't call you a villain; I was basically passing the torch to you. Waiting for you to realize what a wicked, psychopathic man Lex is. I wasn't calling you a Luthor. I said those things to help show you the right path and wait for your response with was hopefully meant to be a good one. Yes, Lena I know you're going to ask why I didn't tell you my secret beforehand and it's not because you were a Luthor."

God why can this woman see straight through my armour and know me way too well. "I didn't tell you my secret because," she took a deep breath, "because I love you, Lena. I always have. I love everything about you. Even the things I don't like, I love, and I want you with me. I love you and you love me, so there is nothing that is going to stop us," She glanced down at my lips, "Nothing." I couldn't hold back any longer, the woman I have been loving for three and a half years, finally loves me back.

So, I lunged at her, faster than I would have ever thought I could go and met her lips at last. They tasted like fresh doughnuts and something distinctly Kara. Soon enough I was being pulled on to her lap, my dress riding up my thighs, but I didn't care, Andrea was the only one left here, so no eyes mattered. My hands found her neck and her hands found themselves wrapped around my waist. We stayed like that for god knows how long, but we didn't give a single care in the world. The only thing in our world was us. That is all that mattered from now on. We would deal with the wrath of Alex and Lex later. A Luthor and a Super together, that was all the world needed.