True Color (#Wattys2020)

Focusing

Sirens P.o.V
Kentrel had convinced me to somehow take that hour and a half dreadful ride to my father... somehow. He told me my dad could help us with finding the whereabouts of my un- of morris.
I ended up taking a shower and giving him the keys to my car so he could drive.
We had been driving for half a hour now my head on the window pane.
Kentrell would take looks at me from the side of his eye every two minutes thinking I couldnt notice.
I was going to be fine he should stop worrying about me. It wasnt like we were in a relationship.
I rolled my eyes at the thought he probably wants one though.
"You good?" He questioned softly.
Ugh I hated that shit, I hated the fact that I had to be so weak in front of people just so they could feel bad for me all over again. I looked at kentrell smiling a bit.
"Please reframe from asking me that" he looked confused but still agreed.
"You hungry?" He asked after a few more minutes. I poked my lips out moving my head left to right indicating I wasnt hungry either.
"Siren can you talk to me?" He asked looking at me.
Rolling my eyes I looked at him.
My voice was cracky from all my crying so I sounded a lot more harsh when I said "I dont want to talk to you" looking back forward I heard him sigh from beside me.
"I understand " he nodded.
A few more minutes went by and he grabbed my hand.
"If you need help im here"
I pulled my hand back towards me giving him a scowl.
"And WHAT EXACTLY WILL THAT BE WITH ?! CAN YOU HELP ME TELL MY DAD THAT AFTER NOT ONLY LOSING HIS WIFE AND DAUGHTER... HIS . HIS SON JUST GOT KILLED TOO!? BY THE SAME GUY?" I yelled finally breaking at the end and crying. Kentrel quickly pulled the car over embracing me in a hug.
"Yes Siren whatever you need" he said rubbing my hair.
"Ima be here for you no matter what"
I wiped my eyes laughing.
" aha the last guy who said that to me was the same one who killed her" I cried again. Kentrel held my shoulders forcefully giving me a hard stare.
"Im not him Siren, I wont do you like that" he reassured me. I sniffled looking him in the eyes.
"Promise?" I whispered feeling lost and empty.
"I promse baby girl."
For a couple of minutes we sat there until I calmed down.
This was getting embarrassing.
"Kentrell I am kinda hungry." I shamelessly said after another 20 minutes of driving.
"I gotchu" he said
***
Walking into the hospital dread filled my body again.
"I cant do this-"
"Yes you can!" Kentrell urged me.
He pushed me forward. "Lead the way" he continued.
I walked to the elevator pressing my fathers floor as me got there.
Starting to hyperventilate as we got closer Kentrell Rubbed my back.
"Siren, no matter what he will love you, all that matters now is we - ...we" he paused looking like a deer in head lights. "We what?" I asked.
"Stay extra strong for him" he finished.
The doors to the elevator opened and I walked out slowly, kentrell holding my hand the whole time.
My heart drummed in my ears hard.
With each step I just wanted to turn back around.
I saw the huge wall window, the one I always stared out calming down a bit. We can get through this together.
Placing my hand on the nob I let out a deep breathe.
"Ms. Jackson" a cough from behind me distracted us. I turned around looking pass kentrell to see Dr.Kazoli.
"Uhm, hello good afternoon" I spoke.
"I hope you dont mind me interjecting really quickly, however I saw you walk past my office and its some things we should go over." He motioned me to follow him.
"You want me to come?" Kentrell asked i nodded my head yes taking lead after the doctor.
Getting to his office we sat down in two nice small chairs just two feet away from his desk.
"Thank you for coming im sorry if this is a inconvenience-" I cut him off quickly
"Its never an inconvenience this is my father, I accidentally broke my phone then- uh -"
"Our car broke down" kentrell said. "I also dont own a phone" kentrell looked around the office wandering adjusting his feet.
I looked from kentrell to the doctor and watched as he just guloed and looked back at me.
"Well Ms.Jac-"
"Siren " I said.
"Right" he continued "its glad we caught you the other initial doctor wanted to stop calling but I figured a few more days before we pulled the plug."
A awkward silence grew over us as I just looked at the man.
He looked down over his paper work then back at me.
"Although your father is awake he still has virtually no movement. So far we have eye blinks and mouth movement." He gave it to me straight forward. I actually could kind of relax at that moment.
As selfish as this seemed this means I wouldnt have to deal with the emotional break down of my dads feealings. Honestly I dont think I could handle all of that extra emotion on me right now.
"I understand."
He sighed " I also want to let you know its not likely he'll live long either. With low progress over the years and only you keeping him on the monitor paying thousands for years ... could just go into him dying." I looked at the doctor in awe. So.
"And your point is ? At least this way I can say goodbye to him the right way." I stood up and kentrell followed suit.
"I didnt mean it that way its just - well if you want you can sign him into your care you would have to attend a nursing program and until you complete it you can either pay for the care here which is bare minimum for a lot of money or .. put him in a physical therapy treatment center, where they will have the whole hospital set up plus physical therapy, if he made it that far... I mean its a lot of money for no reason either way when you could just end his suffering. " the doctor stood up from his chair. "All im saying is ive seen this happen a lot with these cases .. not this extremely long its absurd the amount of money you spent just to keep his heart beating but to what extent?" He stuck his hand out to me."think about it" I looked him up and down walking out the office.
"Can you believe him?" I asked looking at Kentrell.
" that was weird" kentrell shook his head. "Right?" I agreed "his attitude was real passive aggressive like" walking back to my fathers door I didnt even know what to expect really, was he even going to be able to move?
Hes been in a coma extremely long and just woke up out of no where? But fuck what the doctor was saying I would put my lifes savings into making sure he lives as long as he could.
I walked in the room, the sound of the monitors instantly filling my ears.
My dad was still just saying down but he looked as if he just got bathed.
I smiled looking at him walking to his side grabbing his hand.
"Dad" I said.
His eyes fluttered open very hastily and slowly. He looked at me his eyes widen.
"Hey" I cried one hand coving my mouth and the other squeezing his tightly.
"Hey dad im so glad you can hear me" I spoke. He blinked his eyes.
"I really have so much to tell you." A tear rolled down my face. My dad looked at Kentrell behind me. I followed his gaze coughing. "Like I said I have a lot to tell you"
I stood there frozen.
'I can't tell him'
"I'm 23 now dad and um. - things have been hard without you." I cried falling into his chest. I could see tears forming at his eyes so I wiped then quickly.
"This is kentrell he's been helping me with trying to kill Morris. I wish I knew where to start with you... You sure picked a time to wake up."
I sighed again "I'll tell you what, how about I tell you after I grab something to eat ok ? I'll come back and I'll chat your ear off for hours ok? Blink twice for yes and once for no." He blinked once. I smiled "great sounds good to me too" I quickly grabbed kentrells hand pulling him out the room.
"Great start... I guess" he mumbled.
"I can't do it ... And I don't wanna cry. My mind is in a mess I cant-" kentrell grabbed my shoulders.
"First off stop saying you cant" hugging me he rubbed my back. "I've seen you move, you definitely can, second your father is a unbelievable powerful legend, I'm not saying he won't be hurt but he deserves this" after that we stood there him just allowing me to breath...right by that window. "Why don't I wait out here and you talk to him and tell him." Kentrell said. I nodded my head. "ok"
I walked back inside to my dad. He was just staring at the wall dried up tears on his face. I opened my mouth trying to just muster something to say.
"Pops I failed you... I let you down" I cried. He looked at me tears also coming down.
"He got to Sebastian.. Morris got to him... All over a safe .. Sebastian Almost had him it was a crazy fight but thankful our team got him .. I'm so sorry I don't know how to say this but I swear On my Life I will do whatever it takes to make sure my mother sister and brother live through me." I strongly finished off wiping my face.
I walked over to my dad grabbing some tissue also clearing his face.
"I want you to know though to be proud of him. He never let anything stopped him from just being happy so we should live the same way." Sitting there for a second I thought I saw my dad's head shake a bit.
This was flabbergasting honestly.
I was just in total awe.
In shock.
Depression
Saddness