The Story of the Lonely Boy

Part 1

It all started from a young age when I knew I was different. I didn't like the things other boys liked. And over the course of a few more years, I knew exactly what the difference was. I was gay. I didn't tell anybody, knowing what they had said about homosexuals for years, but what I didn't know until recently was how hard it could be even once everybody knew. The way people look at you;disgusted. How people treat you for being who you are; like shit. And the loneliness that comes with it. It can be so quiet at times, yet at others you wonder when the noise will stop. I have come to realize that I will never be enough for anybody. And that's something I'll have to live with, but that kind of life, one without affection, is terrible. I start to wonder if anybody would be changed if I was gone. And I know they would. That's why I'm still here, but holding on can sometimes hurt worse than letting go. It's easier for me to fake a smile than to be asked what's wrong. Faking happiness has become second nature to me at this point. And that's sad. I know life is supposed to be beautiful, but I feel as though my lens is broken. Now that you have read the break down that I call my life, I guess it's time to tell you who I am. I'm Thomas Davidson. Nothing special about the name and there's really not anything special about me either. I'm six feet tall, have black hair, brown eyes, and I'm in between fat and skinny, like my body doesn't want to decide. I have glasses and using just throw on whatever I can find in the mess of my room. I was going to clean it, but then I thought about the whole process and decided to just sleep instead. I sleep a lot. Sleeping helps me get away from reality even if it's just for a little while. I suck at sports, I love crafts, and oddly I like jigsaw puzzles. I say it's odd because I am not a patient person by nature, but they help me practice. Now that we've got the background of my pathetic life, we can now get into the present day experience. I would like to warn you, though, that it may be a little boring and make you want to go to sleep, but hey, that's my life. Imagine living it.