When Nothing is Ever Simple

CHAPTER THREE

Lying in the darkness, sandwiched between the twins, I relish my time in town with Sam. I still can't quite believe I spent the whole afternoon with him. When I got back earlier, I was surprised to see that Mum had made a lasagna. Amber told me that she seemed pretty sober after she came back and played a board game with Maya and Tasha. I thought she might be turning over a new leaf and that my outburst had been a bit of a wake-up call but I hear the door click at eleven. She spends the night at the King's Head, smoothing out the edges with her nameless drinking mates.
I don't see Sam Sunday but on Monday I receive a text on my ancient mobile at exactly 7:56am.

 Will u be my girlfriend? x

I stare and stare at the text until Sammie walks over and yells in my ear, interrupting my trance.
"You have been looking at your phone for ages what is wrong with you we need breakfast and we're gonna be late for the walking bus!"
Amber rushes in.
"Jade, Jasmine tried to cook an egg and it's like gone everywhere cos it sort of exploded."
Jasmine races in from the kitchen, looking distraught.
"I'm so sorry, it was an accident but it wasn't my fault exactly..."
Lola stands up in her cot, screeching at the top of her voice.
"Jasmee's fault Jasmee's fault Jasmee's fault!"
I want to block out their noise, not be responsible for them, I want to be the one looked after for once.
"Jade, why won't you answer us? Maya's got raw egg all over her hands and its gone on the kitchen floor. God, help us out. We dunno how to clean the mess up." Amber bellows.
"You clean it up! I'm sick, sick, sick of having to do everything for everyone all the time!" I shriek.
They stare at me, shocked, not sure how to react to my  unexpected outburst.  I don't know what the hell is wrong with me at the moment. I'm usually so calm and even-tempered so why do I keep shouting at everyone? First Mum, now my sisters.
"Look guys I'm really sorry. I don't know what came over me. Now where is this exploded egg? We need some kitchen roll."
I find Maya in the kitchen and carry her to the bathroom where we wash her hands in warm soapy water, then I assess the damage. A glossy layer of egg white coats the cracked lino and the yolk which is spattered on the wall matches the mustard-yellow paint.
The rest of the morning passes smoothly enough but the kids eye me warily as though I am a bomb about to explode. It's not until they've joined up with the walking bus and I am safely stowed away on the top deck of the 22A that I can think about how to respond to Sam.
What do I say?
Simply 'yes' or 'maybe' or 'I'll tell you at school' or 'I'll think about it.' Should I play hard to get or just be myself? Should I say anything at all? How many xs do I put? If any. He put one. I've never been in this kind of situation before so I have no idea what to say in my reply. The only other relationship I've had is with this kid from Caddersworth Secondary, my old school when I lived in Stockport, and who I only went out with because Gina, my best friend there, persuaded me to. It wasn't much of a relationship; we went to the cinema a few times, I kissed him and it was disgusting, had a few awkward hugs, exchanged valentines presents, but we didn't have much in common. I was only what… thirteen? I've just never had time for a boyfriend. Until now.
I type 'yes i will! see u at school x' which is the natural kind of thing to say and debate sending it. Does it sound too needy? Maybe I shouldn't put an x?  The bus jerks to a stop and I accidentally hit 'send.' Crap.
As soon as I step off the bus, I am swallowed up in the heavy stream of grey skirts, grey trousers and maroon sweatshirts heading towards the school. A few people jostle their way forward and start making comments, nudging me teasingly.
"Got yourself a boyfriend have you Jade?"
"Ooh Jade I heard about you and Sam!" I heard a "he's too good for her," but then again, I also heard a “she’s too good for him.”
"God, everyone's making such a big deal about it. So what? Jade the mouse has paired up with weirdo Sam. Two freaks together."
This last remark comes from Cara who is leaning against the huge sign with our school's name written across it in black lettering, a cigarette dangling out of her mouth. Since when did she smoke? Her words sting.
Everyone stops and falls silent. Someone gulps melodramatically and a titter ripples through the crowd.
"How come you lot all know?" I manage. No use denying it.
"Grace obviously. She posted it on Facebook!" An obnoxious kid from my science class yells out. Grace herself is sitting on a low wall next to Matthew and Immie with a smug, self-satisfied smile on her face. She must have just guessed we were together – or were going to end up together - and taken a risk. Well, it worked.
"Oh I am sorry Jade. I didn't realise."
I clench my fists. A voice whispers in my ear. "Ignore them."
Sam takes my hand. "Come on, I'm in your Maths." I follow him. Fifty pairs of eyes stare at us as we go by. Cara sniggers. Sam checks his phone as we walk then smiles at me, that irresistible lopsided grin.
Maths passes by drearily and is followed by English - Sam gets a detention for listening to his iPod in lesson time and Immie Westwood asks our English teacher where William Shakespeare lives. Present tense.
At lunch I hear someone crying in the loos so I call out asking if they're okay.
"Um who's in there? Are you all right?"
Freya Richardson of all people emerges from one of the dank cubicles with red eyes and a piece of tissue stuck to her eyelid.
"Erm, are you okay?"
She puts on a fake smile. "I'm fine! It wasn't me crying, must have been someone else."
Well despite being perfect in almost every other aspect, somehow I don't think she would get an Oscar for acting. The other cubicles are empty anyway. I puzzle over this in Drama while I skulk at the back, hoping not to be chosen to perform and watch Matthew Simms and Jack Hilton acting out a funny scene, wishing I had the confidence to get up there and have everyone in stitches.