A Lesson Never Learned (Brusnop)

The face that can't escape me

I closed my eyes as a wave of nausea washed over me. I bit my tongue holding back a groan, why haven't I learned that drinking comes with consequences? Consequences that I can't handle. I gently laid my head on the sticky counter. Well, I thought I did it gently but considering the ache in my head that followed I was questioning whether I had laid my head as gently as I thought or if someone came up behind me and bashed it into the cool marble.

I felt around my black leather jacket desperately searching for my phone. Coming across an odd lump on the bottom of my jacket I had to assume that I found what I was looking for. I weakly pulled out my phone and held it in front of my face. Blurry face after blurry face danced in front of my eyes until I was able to find one that I recognized.

Ben. Benjamin Bruce. Even in my drunken state that was one face that would not, could not escape me. From his perfect light brown hair to his beautiful blue eyes. I felt my face heat up at once remembering the day when I realized that these thoughts that I was having of Ben, were more than friends.

I smiled slightly and brought myself back to reality. I was in a bar, with no one that I knew. My head was killing me, I was seconds from pissing off the population when I unleashed a full days of drinking on the next poor sap to walk too close to me.

I took a deep breathe and put the phone to my ear. It rang twice before I was being greeted by a beautiful British accent. "Hello? Danny?" I could hear the usual amount of concern.

"B-en. I need you to co- come pick me up." I had to stop a few times to regain my breath. I was so close to losing it all on the bar floor.

I could hear a deep sign. "Sure thing mate, which bar are you in tonight?'

I smiled to stop the coming tears. It gets pretty bad when all I have to say is come pick me up and they know instantly that i've had too much to drink in some shitty bar. I could feel my throat tighten up. I knew I needed to end the call soon before I broke down. I quickly mumbled out the bar name before hanging up and closing my eyes.

Why do I do this to them? James, Cameron, Sam? Ben? Why do they put up with it? Everyone knows i'm an alcoholic. My band mates. My Family. Our fans. Why am I able to accept that? 

I slowly reached up wiping away a forming tear. I'm doing way too much thinking for all the drinking i've done tonight.

I heard a small clatter beside me. I opened my eyes slightly and seen a blurry figure sit down beside me. I quickly closed my eyes, as I heard the person next to me let out a deep sigh.

"What are you doing to yourself, mate?" Ben sat there in silence for a couple minutes before he stood up and nudged my shoulder thinking I was asleep. "Danny, Danny. I'm here. Let's go back to the bus." He sniffled.

I opened my eyes and attempted to nod my head slightly, I regretted that instantly. I slowly lifted my body off of the bar stool and latched onto Ben's body. He took my arm and wrapped it around his neck supporting all of my weight.