The Date Auction

Chapter 7: The Gym

Jake's favorite gym was something special, an elaborate affair, even with a bouncer out front. I had no idea why it was situated in such a seedy part of town. The bouncer greeted me with a wave and a smile. He was immediately kind to me, as all good people are.

"Hey Madison! If I don't miss my guess, you're waiting for Jake. He should be out any second if I know his schedule."

As if on cue, the doors opened up and out came Jake, chatting with a tall, attractive woman I'd never seen before. His face lit up when he saw me. "Maddy! What a surprise!" he rushed forward, grasping me in an enormous hug. "Have you met Helena yet?"

The woman offered her hand to shake. A cat that was walking by hissed at her. "Hello," she greeted me, "I'm Helena Blondethreat. Jake and I are... coworkers, you might say."

"Nice to meet you." I said. She seemed nice. I liked her immediately.

"Jake! How have I never met your lovely girlfriend before?"

"You travel too much!" Jake chided her.

"True, true. The work calls," she shrugged, accepting the world for what it was. "Now, I'll let you two lovebirds fly off. Until our next chance encounter!"

The drive home was filled with good banter and all the excellent chemistry Jake and I had together, but there was one topic I was a little afraid to broach.

"So, Jake. About my date last night."

"The one-off date you were obliged into?" he asked.

"That's the one. We had to cut it short."

"Oh, then you're expected to do a follow-up date, to preserve your sorority's honor."

"Yes, exactly."

He shifted his gym bag, clinking noises coming from all the small bottles he had in there. Jake had the weirdest gym habits. Instead of bringing a single water bottle to his gym, he'd bring several, carry them around in a bandolier, and mark each with the name of a Pope and a date to distinguish them. He had other strange equipment too, and I made him wash his gym bag twice a week since it somehow kept smelling like garlic.

"Well," he said after a long pause, "I can see that it's important to you, so I'll make you a deal. Going on dates with Blaise is okay, as long as it seems like the right thing to do."

"Thanks." I said, "You know I care nothing for him. He is meaningless to me."

"Relax, babe. I don't feel threatened."

"If someone were to tell me of his death," I continued, "I would be upset at them purely for wasting my valuable ear time with irrelevant sounds. Were someone to send me his finger in the mail for a ransom, I would set it aside and forget it shortly thereafter. I care about him the way the All Lives Matter crowd cares about all lives."

"Got it. Hey, we're about to pass a taco place, wanna stop and-"

"I care about him the way the ocean cares for a single grain of sand! I care about him less than the tacos we're about to get care about my gastrointestinal system! I could stare at him and forget his face in the time it took me to blink!"

"So when's your next date?" Jake asked.

"Friday after next!" I gushed.

Courtney texted me after dinner.

"I heard about your second date! I still can't believe you're the only girl Blaise has ever paid attention to! But it also makes sense, I can see why it's you, because of your inherent goodness."

I rolled my eyes. Whatever. I was actually plain and normal.

Another week passed, a gradual anxiousness building up in my chest. Whatever I was feeling, Jake seemed to be doing well, a new energy possessing him. Meanwhile I was hearing nothing from Blaise, only waiting. I kept forgetting to go to class as an unfamiliar yearning encompassed me. When midterms came around, I barely managed straight A's. I reminded myself over and over I didn't care for Blaise, but somehow whenever I found myself thinking of genitals, I found myself thinking of him. Thank god Friday was just around the corner, when my second and final date could finally be over, and I would certainly go back to feeling normal.