Sometimes They Yell Back || Trans Bakugou AU

Chapter 11

I laid on my bed for what felt like an eternity, though it was probably just a few hours at most. It felt like a long time, but not in a bad way. It was similar to how you would feel laying in a forest under a bunch of trees, or lay at night while watching the stars. Neither of which I've ever actually done, but I imagine they'd have the same sense of calm. It seemed almost existential, but I had just enough of a grip on reality to not drift too far into thoughts. I eventually fell back asleep though and didn't think about anything else for the rest of the night. I had lost my sense of time, and just about everything really. I had a vague sense of empty, but that was about all I could pinpoint. 

I woke up later than I should have, about an hour after I usually would actually. I stopped fully processing things after I woke up. I changed into what I needed to and got to work cleaning the dorms. There wasn't anything particularly interesting, I didn't do anything else, I just cleaned. It wasn't necessarily boring though, it wasn't exactly exciting either, everything just felt neutral. I didn't eat anything then either. 

Eventually, the rest of the class slowly trickled into the dorms. I had finished cleaning the upstairs area by scrubbing down the hallways and dusting everything down, and I had a pretty good start on the common area as well. A few people awkwardly tried to greet me as they walked in, though most of them would glance shyly at me and then continue walking to wherever. Which was fine. I didn't particularly want them to talk to me. Once I finished the area I was at, I went back up to my room. There was still a lot of snacks that I had put near my bed, so I sat down and ate some more of those. Fuck a healthy diet, I had almost forgotten how good soda and chips tasted. I scrolled through my phone for a bit but didn't find anything worth spending time watching. I ended up laying back on my bed and thinking for a bit. 

I started to wonder, why do I hate everyone so much? I don't know how that thought drifted into my frame of minds, but I decided to ponder it. I didn't really hate everyone, I just had an outward temper. Do they know that? Do they think I hate them? Should I hate them? Why do I hate myself? I shouldn't hate myself, I'm top of the class or at least close to it in every aspect. I have a natural affinity for agility and quick thinking, all my grades are high, and I'm best at combat. Why do I feel so bad though? Is it because I'm trans? Do I have some sort of hidden leftover transphobia I forgot to address? No, I don't think that's it. Why am I such a piece of shit? Is that what it is? Do I hate myself because I'm an asshole? I mean, I guess I don't really have friends, do I. They probably hate me for being a prick to them. Kirishima sticks by me, but he could be faking it to seem more manly by hanging around the problem kid. Denki, Mina, and Sero probably just follow Kirishima too. I guess I don't really have a way to turn, do I? I'm by myself, I've been by myself, and I always will be. 

I'd been sleeping more than usual recently. I wasn't too sure why I was so off track, but fixing it seemed like such a chore it didn't even feel worth it. As long as I'm able to wake up and clean the dorms I guess it was fine. It was a Friday anyway, so sleep my sleep schedule didn't matter on the weekends. I ended up taking a nap for about two hours and woke up still being tired. I decided I should probably get water before I decide to fully clock out for the night. 

I went downstairs and the number of things happening was overwhelming. A good portion of the class was in the common room and watching Kirishima sing the Pokemon theme song in karaoke. Mina was dancing behind him and was also sort of back up singing. I wasn't entirely sure what Denki was doing, but he seemed to be taped to the ceiling by Sero. Uraraka and Deku were making popcorn and making awkward eye contact. Their weird unknowing pining for each other is painful to witness. I was genuinely convinced Izuku was gay before we got to UA, he never really had an interest in girls before. I guess he never had an outward interest in boys either though. I don't think I can really pin down my sexuality either though. I know I've never liked a girl before, or at least not to my knowledge. Momo was making tea, and Tsuyu was mixing something in a bowl. Aoyama was standing on a table and talking to Shoji. I didn't know those two talked. Iida seemed to be on his way to yell at them as well. It was so loud. Oh, great, the song changed from Pokemon to Baby Shark. I decided it wasn't even worth it to get a glass of water, and I was ready to just go back to my room. 

"Bakugou!" Fuck. Of course, what a cliche. I turned to look at whoever called me, to then see Sero jumping up to reach Kaminari. "Can you help me get him down?" 

"Why the fucking hell did you tape him to the ceiling in the first place?" 

"I wanted to be Spider-Man!" Denki had this dumb smiley look on his face, just like he usually does. I was very ready to just blow a hole in the ceiling and call it a day, but I didn't want to pay for damage expenses. I don't know why he was asking for my help anyway, it wasn't like I was taller than him, what did he want me to do? Shoji's the tallest in the class, if anything he should have asked him. 

"Pull up a chair or some shit, flat face." Maybe I should get more creative with my nicknames. I grumbled under my breath and moved a chair over for him so that he could reach. 

"Oh, that's a reasonable idea." Sero seemed a bit embarrassed but laughed anyway. He was able to untape Denki, but that caused him to fall flat in the ground. I had to stifle a laugh from that. 

I felt someone bump into me and immediately turned to yell at them. "Watch it fucker!" Midoriya landed on the ground behind me and put on his usual stupid apologetic look. 

"I-I-I'm sorry Kacchan! I was focused and didn't look where I was going-" He laughed nervously to himself and looked down on the ground and scratched the back of his neck. I saw Uraraka behind him holding a bowl of popcorn, I then noticed he was holding a small bag. I couldn't see what was in it since it was made of fabric, but I could tell that Ochako made it. Deku can hardly tie a tie, let alone a tidy bow on a gift. I feel like Deku isn't really the best matchup for her considering how she is as a person, but I mean whatever she likes who she likes. He makes her seem weak in a sense, she gets all weird when she's with him. She's probably stronger and more grounded than a lot of the girls, she's got a clear drive. 

Uraraka helped Deku off the ground and they both apologised to me again. I didn't give a real response, I didn't care to either. Kirishima was singing a different song, and it took me a moment to realise it was Let It Go from Frozen. He's so loud. How does he do that without giving himself a headache? Mina wasn't up there anymore but Denki seemed to be filling in. They almost seemed drunk. I wouldn't be surprised if they were really.  

No one else seemed to need me for anything, so I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and went back to my room. Denki almost breaking his nose was probably the only highlight for the day. I was tired, and had Frozen songs stuck in my head. If they were drinking or on anything, I was glad I wasn't there to partake, that wouldn't have gone well for me. After what happened last time, I don't even want to touch alcohol again. As soon as I got into my room, the only thing I could think of was how tired I was. I got in bed and it was comfortable but cold, like usual. I wrapped myself in a blanket burrito and decided maybe I could read something as well. I had a novel on my nightstand that I was about halfway through. I was likely going to read A Pale View Of Hills, but I found a copy of The Housekeeper and The Professor. I think I'd read it before, but I didn't remember much of it. I returned back to my blanket burrito and continued where I left off in the book. Life would probably go a lot more smoothly for me if I were in a book or something. Writers seem to like their characters, even in weird off branches and fan fiction, authors wouldn't want their characters to suffer. I probably wouldn't have to deal with so much bullshit if I was in a story. I guess I can only dream. 

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Authours Notes: whoops, I did it again didn't I- I feel like the more I say I'll post on Monday, the less likely I am to actually post on Monday. Let's go with I'll post before Thursday next week. That's the new goal for me. 

If you're wondering, by the way, I very much called myself out with that last bit of the chapter. I probably called a lot of you out too. You know who you are, writing fanfiction and seeing all your characters go through tradegy (all of you.) 

Anyway, thank you for your patience and thank you for reading so far! Have a good week, drink some water <3