As I brush my teeth, I realize that my boyfriend is taking me on a date today. It better be at somewhere quiet, I have a lot of thinking to do (actually just acting like I’m thinking). But really, I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. For example, I discovered just how boring the world really is. And also why I have so many friends. I just want them to go away. They really annoy me all the time. I JUST WANT THEM TO GO AWAY. I really annoys me how they try to bring me back to the way I was before, but I would never go back to living that happy life. I’d much rather read Twilight all day and comment on the weather.
I’ve really grown to love Twilight. I like how I can relate to Bella. I would be the perfect one to be her in the movies. Twilight isn’t an exciting story so that would be good. OH AND BY THE WAY I love the weather today. It’s raining. It rained yesterday. And the day before yesterday. And the day before the day before yesterday. And the day before the day before the day before yesterday. And the day before the day before the day before the day before yesterday. And last month. It rained last month. And it rained the day before last month. And the day before the day before last month.
This is an ugly shirt. I just realized how boring my tits are. I should get a boob job to make my tits more boring than they already are. This is an ugly shirt. I should donate all my shirts to poor people. No that’s a bad idea; I’ll just throw them away. *walks to trashcan and tosses every single shirt in trash* That was fun! (sarcasm). Tomorrow I’ll go to GAP (because it’s the most boring, dull place in the world) and by 50 grey shirts to show the world just how boring I am. (yay!) You know my pants are pretty exciting too. I think I’ll throw away every pair of pants I own and just keep one. WAIT. I just realized that since I threw away all my shirts I don’t have any shirts to wear now. I guess I’ll just walk around in my bra. Yeah. THAT’S A GOOD IDEA! (mentally praising myself) It’s not like Edward Cullen is just going to appear out of nowhere and molest me and rape me and do dirty things with my unconscious body. Hehehe. (I wish).
Well, I better get going if I don’t want to miss my date. It’s going to be a SUPER AMAZING date. I’m planning on telling my beloved boyfriend that I hate his guts because he’s not Edward Cullen and he DOESN’T SPARKLE. I always love a man that sparkles…
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50 Shades of Kristen Stewart
FanfictionA story about Kristen Stewart and her dramatic and incredibly boring journey into stardom. (Written from Kristen Stewartart's point of view) This story is Christine's story.