Strange Nights [XiuChen OneShot]

Strange Nights

They both laughed when they entered the apartment of Jongdae, because as always, everything they shared with each other seemed to be a delight. Minseok couldn't imagine how boring his life would be when his best friend wouldn't be there to brighten up every gray day. Speaking of gray days, today was such a day, but Minseok didn't know yet and even less he knew that this time, Jongdae wouldn't be there to change that. No, rather he would be the cause of the pitch blackness that would surround him. Minseok took off his jacket and shoes to place them beside the drawer. Walking into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water and looking inside the fridge beside him not being hungry. Meanwhile Jongdae continued to chatter about random topics till it got a little bit quiet in the living room. For someone who knew Jongdae quite awhile, and Minseok liked to think of him as such a person, him getting quiet suddenly never meant good. „What's wrong?", he asked while entering the room and sitting down beside him. „Nothing, I just had to think about something," he answered and looked up. „Doesn't seem like nothing though...come on, it's not like we have to keep secrets from each other," Minseok took a sip of his water when the warm hand of Jongdae touched him on the upper part of his thigh. Everything in his head started to scream, making it impossible for him to move. „Minseok, I-I think I might have developed feelings that are quiet a little far from staying just friends.", he felt how the hand moved a little bit, not higher or lower but Jongdae moved his hand a little to the side of his thigh. „I don't get what you mean, Dae," he felt dizzy, his head started spinning around. „I want to be closer to you, feel you...like more than what friends do. Because I love you," Jongdae's hand slid down when Minseok got up and moved away, stumbling over the edge of the rag.
His stomach turned around when he tried to think about what his friend had just said to him. „What is wrong with you!", he had his eyes closed, not daring to even glance a little. Too scared of the face that he would see and the expression on it. „I said...", the voice cracked a little bit. „Why are you doing this to me?", he asked, ignoring the fact that his best friend needed comfort instead of him asking such distant questions. „Why can't you just be...normal?", muttering that into his hands that he had put over his face. „Because- because I can't change how I feel!", the voice of his friend sounded rusty and he could hear how hurt he was.
For the first time after Jongdae had confessed his feelings towards him, he opened his eyes.
Even when he had expected a devastated look, he wouldn't have imagined to see him in tears. So far, Jongdae had never cried in all of the 7 years they had known each other. Sure, teary and sad eyes, but never had a single tear had left those bright eyes. It hurt him even more. There was nothing comforting he could say to him. No,I love you too' back, no understanding, not even a sorry could go past his lips. He wasn't sorry. For what reason should he even be sorry? He couldn't change the feelings of someone and for sure he wasn't the one to be responsible for them. He got up and left the room. A soft question left the mouth of his friend „Where are you going?", but he didn't answer.
Taking his jacket from the dresser and his shoes that rested beside the drawer in the hallway, as they did for the last years. „Where are you going?", the voice was noticeably trembling. But Minseok still refused to answer that, opening the door and getting down the stairs. „Please don't leave me.", Jongdae whined a little, following him down. His head was empty, like when his mother had told him about the death of his grandma. Slipping into his shoes, putting on his jacket and opening the front door that lead to the street. Usually the street was full of other people walking around. But at this time of the day, when the sky was dipped into a dark blue for quite some hours already, barely anything seemed to move around here. The world got a little quieter at this hour and his footsteps echoed rather loudly. It felt weird, disturbing something so peaceful. „Don't go.", Jongdae whispered and reached out for his hand. A touch that before wouldn't have led to him ripping his hand away and looking angrily. Never would he have felt that disgust towards something he thought he loved. Not in that way, that his best friend had hoped it to be. „Fucking keep your hands off me.", his voice was harsh and even when his heart ached a little bit at the expression that hovered over the face of the dark brown eyed man, he couldn't help himself. „I can't, I won't do that. I don't love you! Not in that way and not in any other way.", breathing in deeply. „Some things rather stay unsaid and maybe you should have kept your mouth shut about this topic.", trying not to tremble too much he cleared his throat. His hands were shaking badly when he ruffled his hair a little bit. „That is the worst thing you ever told me, I really wish you wouldn't have...because I can't bear that.", he looked up. Turning around to leave his friend made a step forward. „Are you gonna", he bit his lip. „I didn't mean to", his eyes squeezed together when he tried to hold back the tears. „Please don't leave me, Minseok...I can't live without you. You're everything I have and I will never say it again, I won't even make it noticeable for you. I promise that to you, not even getting too close. You can keep me away for awhile when you want to clear things for yourself.", he sobbed a little bit. „But please don't leave me alone.", he repeated the sentence twice before he started to cry again, leaning forward and resting his ends on the knees. That was the moment where Minseok turned around and walked down the street. Running his hands repeatedly through his hair to get rid of the feelings that bottled up inside of him. He left Jongdae behind, crying and sobbing begging him to not leave him.