When I Think Of You(Dela Cruz Cousins Series #3)

Simula.

Simula.

I remember when I was still a teen. Walang alam sa mundo, walang alam sa mga tao, walang pakielam at araw araw na bulag sa realidad.

I didn't care of others, I didn't thought of them, all I was thinking is myself. The old me was a arrogant and selfish girl.

When I grew up, I realized that the world may not what it seemed. Everybody is not what you think he/she is. I realized that we have differences.

But I was still me, the only difference is,

I now know what life is. I understand someone's feelings, I care about them. I think of them. I worry for them.

I was still arrogant, narrow headed, selfish.
Even if i think of others, in the end. It's all about me. Because I am selfish.

Because of that behavior, I've lost so many people in my life. I've lost friends, my Family and even my Lover.

And it hurts when I think of them, of him.

He's still in here, my mind's going to explode and my heart's going to throbbed and break because of his memories here, still lingers as if they're making me regret my decisions way back.

Even if I don't want to think of him, it just slips and make's me regret and regret every single day. I feel numb and it stings through me. I break down every single night and puts me in vain.

When i think of our memories together it hurts me and my heart. Ang sakit.

Kapag nakikita ko ang mga pictures namin, ang mga ginawa namin. Ang mga lugar na napuntahan namin. Ang mga bagay na binila namin, ginawa namin.

I still have them with me, And right now I am holding and hugging them. I am crying alone in my room. Wishing thing to be better.

In everywhere I go, I see him. In everything, he's with me. He still with me, every day.

I still remember his laughs, his jokes, his smile, those shining eyes and beautiful dimples. His large hands and lean broad shoulders. His eyebrows that is thick as a book. Those soft and fluffy brown hair. I still remember it. All in my head.

'Tsk, ano ba!' masungit kong sabi at tinaboy ang kanyang mga kamay. Natawa siya ng malakas at niyakap ako mula sa likod. Nagpumiglas ako ngunit hinigpitan niya lalo ang pagyakap.

Nasa coffe shop kami nila ngayon at nagtitimpla ng kape. Sila kasi ang may ari nito at ang nagtratrabaho rito. Pinasara niya ang coffee shop para sa amin. Date raww kuno.

'Galit na galit naman agad ang cutiepie ko.. ' Malambing niyang sabi na nagpasikip ng dibdib ko at nagpatigil ng hininga ko. Hindi ko man makita ang mukha ko ay alam na alam ko na agad ang pamumula ng mukha ko.

'Yi.. kilig kilig iyan. Mahal na mahal talaga kita. Wag mo ako iwan ah? Papakasalan pa kita..' Bulong niya para mamula ako lalo.

'Shut up!' Sabi ko at tinulak siya. Malakas naman siyang tumawa at sinundan ako.

Sometimes, I just want to bring back time and change my decisions. But I can't, it's been done. A long time ago. Years ago, 6 yeats to be exact.

Tumagal na ang panahon pero siya pa rin. Kahit na may iba na siya. Kahit na iba na ang mahal niya. Iba na ang gusto niya.

Kapag nakikita ko siyang masaya gusto kong saktan ang sarili ko at sabihin na kami ulit. Ang tanga tanga ko.