football imagines

dressing room (bayern munich)

"Dude, are you going to tell her," Alphonso Davies took the phone out of Kimmich's hand. 

"Give it back," Kimmich said as he and Alphonso fought over the phone. Kimmich eventually won, then excused himself to go to the other side of the dressing room. 

"What's going on?" Neuer came into the room, a little confused at what he just saw. He proceeded to take off his gloves. "Man, what a game." 

"For sure. But I mean, I knew we'd win. It's pretty obvious when we have ManuWALL Neuer on the team," Müller snickered. 

Neuer rolled his eyes. "Do you seriously not have any other jokes in your head? Maybe you should stick to football and quit being a part-time comedian. Now can someone tell me what's going on?"

"Kimmich is being a scaredy-cat, that's what it is," Alphonso said. Kimmich furrowed his eyebrows at Alphonso from the other side of the room. 

"So basically, Kimmich likes this girl he found on Instagram, and now he's too shy to actually DM her," Pavard explained. 

"Pfft, DM? He's scared to even like her picture or comment," Lewandowski shot out. 

"Man's a beast on the field and a sick little puppy once his foot's not touching grass anymore," Alphonso commented. 

"Easy for you to say, Davies. You've had the same girlfriend since you were 15," Kimmich shouted from the other side of the room. "And what did you say? Do you want to be Alphonso Davies' girlfriend? Who does that?" 

The dressing room burst into laughter. Müller clapped his hands. "Good one, brother."

Gnabry shook his head. "Joshua, I can help if you need. One message and she'll be yours."

"I'm not taking my chances with you. You're going to write something that'll make her block me for life."

"You're Joshua Kimmich for goodness' sake. Who wouldn't want to be yours? Come one, mate. Shoot your shot," Alaba said as he went to sit next to his teammate. 

"You mean, shoot your goal," Müller said. When he got no laughs he added, "Eh, sounded better in my head." 

"Can we at least see what she looks like?" Lewandowski asked. "Promise not to steal her." 

"You're saying it as if you had an option. Your wife could literally karate chop you into coma," Gnabry looked at his teammate and laughed. 

"Okay, okay. You can all see her. But leave me alone after that," Kimmich said as he reluctantly pulled out his phone. In a moment, most of his teammates surrounded him like vultures and hyenas. 

Comments like "Woah" and "I mean, I can see why you're hesitant" and "What are you waiting for!!" flew out. Neuer just looked at the boys he captained and shook his head. Bayern Munich was an excellent team like tanks on the field, but off pitch, they were no better than little teenage boys. Except Alphonso. He was a little teenage boy. 

"I was serious about helping you DM her. We'll pitch in. Although I feel like, she just needs to see your name to be yours," Gnabry said after their mini crowd dispersed again. 

"From her profile, it seems like she watches the NBA, not football," Kimmich said, a little disappointed. "She might not know who we even are." 

"For the better," Neuer finally said. "Then, if you talk to her, she'll like you for you."

"Not you too," Kimmich shook his head.

"Shoot your goal," Alphonso started chanting, winking at Müller. "Shoot your goal, shoot your goal," the dressing room echoed.