How The World Turned It's Back On Me

empty heart

What's the point of life people say it's to live it to the fullest others say it's to share the word of the Lord while others think we're just hear for no reason. I'm one of those people who have no clue why we're here and just wants to be happy. However wherever I try to find happiness I just end up feeling more lost and alone even when I'm with people who say they love me. I've tried to put on a fake smile for the world and it worked no one could tell I'm dead inside. Everyone would just smile and laugh at me for the way I looked the way I walked and talked. The way I dressed. I was always the outcast even in my own family but I also put on that fake smile. I finally found the man that makes me feel better but now I can't hold that fact smile. What's on the inside that I've been holding in for 19 years is finally showing. The perfect girl mask I've been wearing is finally broken and I wish I could change who I am Inside but no matter how hard I try I can't get the fire going again. Why can't happyness be easy to find?.