Gravity is a Bitch

16. Beyond Forgiveness

I knew it. I should never have invested so much in this relationship. Now I'm paying the price, but I can't let anything show, especially not in front of Elianna.

We must have been in the car for an hour, I could feel Elianna's gaze drifting over me from time to time. I could tell she was worried and feeling guilty, but for once, I don't give a fucks. Besides, my lip was starting to hurt. Elianna placed her hand on my knee, but I pulled it away without even glancing in her direction.

"Alex?"

I could hear everything, even though I was pretending to listen to music. My headphones had died the moment we landed, but I kept them on to avoid a conversation.

"Can you please take this stuff off so we can—" She didn't finish her sentence as the car pulled up in front of our building. I didn't wait for John to open the open the truck, I did it myself and took my carry-on so I  could walk away as quickly as possible.

The decision had already been made. I had to leave this house and end this affair before it consumed me. For my own good. For Ryan, who had always treated me well. And for Albert. A sad smile spread across my face as I thought of him. How could I have done this to his family? How could I have had an affair with Ryan's wife?

The events of the past few days had been a wake-up call. Since meeting her, nothing had seemed right in my head. Perhaps it was because I had seen her as the perfect woman. Someone who was always right, and when she wasn't, her natural beauty made it impossible to resist her, but now, I knew better. She wasn't perfect. No, she had flaws—tons of them. She was narcissistic because she knew her worth. She was a control freak, possessive to the point that it made you feel like an object instead of a person. Her behavior last night was enough to earn her a spot in the NY Biggest Bitch club.

Maybe it was anger. Maybe fatigue. I was sure I'd regret this decision in a week or two, but I had to get away, physically and mentally.

When I got out of the elevator, I removed my headphones. They had started to hurt my ears, but I had been too proud to take them off during the drive, too afraid of what might happen if she tried to talk to me. Every time I got angry and tried to explain myself, I either said something ugly or ended up crying. So, the best option was always silence.

I walked to my room without sparing Elianna a glance. I grabbed my suitcase. A wave of nostalgia hit me as I thought of the first time I set foot in this apartment. The day my eyes met hers for the first time. All those nights spent in my bed, watching TV, eating junk food, whispering in each other's ears, and having pillow fights. But then the image of that gorilla squeezing Daciana's arm flashed in my mind. I had to push the thought aside. Not now. I couldn't let myself crack up just yet. I took a deep breath and began packing, my anger building.

I heard footsteps behind me. I knew it was her, but I didn't care.

"Can I know what you're doing?" Her voice was trying to be authoritative, but the worry was clear in it. I turned around and saw sadness in her eyes, but I kept my face as impassive as I could.

"Getting away from your psychotic ass" I said, my voice cold and harsh. It surprised both me and Elianna.

"Alex...?" I tried to remember all the reasons why I had to leave, all the pain this relationship had caused me. I had to stay strong.

"No, this is your place, and your husband's..." She quickly interrupted me.

"And you are..."

"Just the girl you sleep with from time to time" I cut her off. My voice was distant and full of irony. I could tell I'd hurt her, but this time, I wasn't going to flinch. No apologies. Not this time.