Our Love Was Abominable

CHAPTER 01: A NEW BEGGINING

HAPTER ONE: A NEW BEGINNING (

"Eto na Lucas! Pangarap mong magbago, kaya wala ng atrasan” I said in myself while taking a deep breath.

“Hoy Lucas! Hali kana’t baka ma late pa tayu sa Sunday service” tawag ng kaibigan kong si Sheena na siyang nag-invite sa'ken para magsimba.

Pupunta kami ngayun sa Simbahan ng kaibigan ko. For how many years na hindi ako nakapagsimba ngayon lang ulet ako nakabalik.

Nais kong magbago ang buhay ko lalong lalo na’t sa kasarian ko. Gusto ko’ng maging straight, gusto ko’ng ibigin ko ay babae lamang. Ayuko ng ganitong sitwasyon — ang umibig ng dalawang kasarian.

Wala pang nakaka-alam neto, I always denied their accusations; that I am different. I always defend myself from their judgements, I tried to possessed of how those straight guy acts, yet still received judgements from society. It was  kinda gruelling to defend from their impressions towards me, so in results I have still received critics that opposed my compliments I have been wanted to hear.

That's why I decided myself to come over to God for I know he is the only one who could solve this kind of struggle; who can take away my bisexuality side.

Alam kong nalilito lang ako sa kasarian ko ngunit dapat hindi ito ibinabaliwala. I need to get rid of this confusion, immediately.

Besides, I don't want to have this kind of struggle, I don't know either how and when this started; how this heart beats inappropriately.

“Lucas!” Sheena shrugged my shoulder. “Ba't ang tulala mo? Okay ka lang ba? Hali kana, nandito na tayu.” she added.

”Okay lang ako” mahinang sagot ko at bumaba na sa sasakyan.

***

Ilang hakbang nalang ay mararating na namin ang simbahan nila. Maraming mga kabataan den ang naglalakad patungo sa rota na iyon.

“Sheena” uttered I, “Kinakabahan ako” I added.

“Ano kaba! Si Lord tinutungo mo doon hindi mga tao. At isa pa, mababait mga tao doon. Promise!” sumbat n'ya sa aken habang nakangiti.

At ito na nga, nandito na kami sa tapat ng kanilang simbahan. I saw two young people at the front of the door ng simbahan nila.

“Dito yung simbahan namin” saad pa ni Sheena.

I roamed my eyes at nagtaka ako kung simbahan ba ito kasi parang bahay lang. Hindi siya typical na simbahan na nakikita ko, parang ang closed lang kase niya, parang one door for entrance and exit kumbaga.

“Hello! Goodmorning! Welcome to --- Catalyst Christian Ministry” the two young ladies welcoming us.

Totoo nga sinabi ni Sheena, napaka hospitable nga ng mga tao dito, napakadesente ng mga suot samantalang ako parang pupunta sa fashion show. Hahahaha!

As I entered the church, a cold breeze of air welcomed me. It was so cold there. The place was so somber; as they use lights that were so dim — they used more seemingy like a disco lights. I saw different instruments there: piano, tambourine, some kinds of guitar, and drum — for worshiping I guess.