insane

now - sex

"Are you even listening to yourself, Lola?" Tori yelled. "You cried 'cause you felt used by that jackass and now you want to fuck him just to forget another guy? Now who's using who?"

"So we're both using ourselves, what's the problem?" my voice cracked.

"The problem, Lo, is that you have a sort of relationship based on that and it doesn't work, you know damn well it doesn't work." Raine explained me with her kind voice, while they trade telepathic looks about my choice.

Tori shook her head, looking down "Lola, I know Luke messed up with you, I know. I know that your new life in New York isn't easy and you had to create this shield, you have on right now, but you will only make it worse by going to bed with him. I don't even know what's in your mind to say it. If I was you I wouldn't even wanna talk to the guy."

I took a deep breath and shared my thoughts "I miss him, you know? We passed from being always together to never seeing or speaking again." I sat in front of them, trying not to have another mental breakdown. "I don't even think about him when I'm with Evan, he replaced him. But now, Evan's not here and Luke is." I paused and wrinkled my eyebrows to what I said next "They are so alike, they use me and then forget about it."

"I don't agree with that." Raine began "I feel like Evan really cares for you, he doesn't wanna hurt you, everything that happened between you guys was by mutual consent and if you didn't got along with his idea he wouldn't force you. You're his best friend."

Tori nodded to Raine's speech. It made sense to me. I'm not saying that he likes me, just that he isn't like Luke. I'm happy when I'm with Evan, he makes me laugh so effortlessly, he makes time fly.

"You're right. But, want if I want more and he doesn't?"

"Then he's stupid." Tori made me laugh and lighted the mood.

They both left after we watched a movie and ate all the junk food available in my fridge. I went downstairs, dressed to go out again. My makeup retouched, red lipstick on, with the same little red velvet dress and denim jacked.

"You're going out again?" my dad asked me walking from the kitchen to the entranced. "Your mom and I were thinking about having dinner and then go see movie with you, of course."

"I'm sorry, dad, but there's something important I need to do."

"More important than being with your parents?"

"Let her be, Nathaniel." my mom showed up to stop my dad. "Go, honey. But remember that we want to spent time with you, sweetie."

"I know, mom. Just this night, from then on I'll be yours." I said opening the door.

I drove to his apartment door, he had message me it when I left the coffee house, asking to drop by whenever I felt ready to talk. Here I am, knocking on his door. He opened it topless, casually bragging his sculptured torso what made me discreetly sigh.

"Come on in." Luke greeted me, pointing an arm to his living room.

All modern decorations, wooden floor, grey couch with green cushions, a window that covered completely one of white walls, which I doubt he thought of it alone. He took of my jacked and put it on the couch, passing gently his hands trough my sleeveless arms and kissing my neck.

"Just having fun." I repeat to make sure we were on the same page.

He simply nodded his head, like I was distracting him for his job. He kissed my lips, digging his fingers on my hips to pull me closer. I gave myself in the moment and I bite his lips to tease him, he responded with a smirk. Luke tangled my legs on his waist and walked to his bedroom.
I was too lost in his green eye color to even noticed what it looked like. Then all I though about was taking my dress off when I saw him pulling out his jeans. He stood there with only his boxers looking at my pale skin, placed his hands on my ankles and started to travel my body up, taking my underwear along the way. His hands stopped to lift my bare back and nibble my breasts, as I hold strongly onto his curly hair. His body was already between my legs, pressing itself inside me, he kept kissing my lips, inhaling my heavy breathing.
He rested his body next to mine, tangling our hands together, after we both reached our maximum. I turned to him and he did the same, not even spelling a word just gazing each other eyes. He placed his hand on my hair, falling to my cheeks and arriving to the line of my lips. I breathe out the relief in my heart when he touched my skin, the green in his eyes never looked so relaxed.

"It always feel so right with you." he said "I tried to fill the void you left with some other girls." he stood an inch away from me "But no one can ever replace you."