The Last Summer

sunsets

The sun was setting on the horizon, bringing an explosion of red and orange and yellow onto the sky.

Standing on her favorite spot on the rooftop, Julia watched the sun slowly disappear, and it was like watching the last vestiges of summer fade. The beginning of summer had been full of hope and excitement, and she was thrilled to be starting a new chapter in her life. She was supposed to go on a trip to Europe with her friends, and after the vacation of a lifetime, she would begin her freshman year at Harvard.

The summer quickly became something unrecognizable though, and now that it was ending, no one really knew what would happen next. She sighed. It was much easier when she had her life planned out.

Julia wondered if everyone felt as unanchored and lost as she did. She shook her head and then laughed. That was stupid. Right now, not a lot of people had the time to be philosophical. Most were concerned about survival, and a few were doing all they can to maintain some semblance of civilization and organized government.

She shivered, though it was not from the cold this time. That afternoon, she had watched everything nearly fall apart. Some people had stormed the compound, demanding that the government be abolished. There were gunshots and smoke and chaos, and they had tried to ransack the place and run off with the supplies. Julia hugged herself and wondered what would've happened had those people gained control. Maybe there would be madness and anarchy all throughout, and perhaps people like her would've been thrown out and left to fend for themselves.

The scrape of metal against cement shook her out of her thoughts, and Julia watched as Rome shut the door behind him. She turned away, feeling exhausted by all the guilt and self-loathing, and wondered if she could still set things between them right.

There was a steady rhythm as his shoes tapped against the concrete, and Julia waited, peering at the space below them. Before this summer – before news of the world's imminent doom had spread – the place was probably full of people and activity, but now all Julia could see were abandoned cars, deserted buildings, and plants that were trying to hold onto the few remaining traces of warmth.

"I know what last summer — what our relationship — really was all about."

Rome's voice shocked Julia back to where she was, and she snapped her head up to stare at him. "What?"

"I wasn't going to tell you but," he said, glancing at her, "I can't keep it to myself anymore."

Julia's heart started hammering, and she swore anyone near her could hear it pounding. She tried to calm down and convince herself Rome was talking about something else. She took a step closer and asked, "What are you talking about?"

Rome placed his hands on the railing. He gazed at the space beyond them like a monarch surveying his kingdom. "You used me. Every time we were together, you were trying to find information and campaign details. You were looking for the skeletons in my family's closet."

Julia started shaking. Had he known all this time? For the fraction of a second, she considered telling him he was wrong, but she had caused him enough pain and sorrow. She tried to still her trembling hands as she said, "I'm sorry." The tears threatened to spill out of her eyes, and when she tried to reach for him, he pulled away from her. "I'm sorry, Rome."

"So it's true?" He shook his head. "Of course it's true. Was your father that desperate? What, your family didn't want to stick to normal espionage?"

"I'm sorry."

Rome crossed his arms and leaned away from her. "Well, congratulations to your dad for winning the vice presidency. He must be so proud of his daughter."

Julia did not know what to say. She had tried to convince herself that this moment would never come, and now that it was here, she did not know what to do.

He turned away from her, running his fingers through his hair. "Why did you continue with it after he had already won?"

Julia wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "It wasn't like that anymore." She shuddered and then looked away. "Before the election, I told my parents I was done trying to sabotage your family."

She tried to close the gap between them, but Rome stayed out of her reach. Julia swallowed as she searched for the right words. "I'm sorry, Rome. The truth is: I liked spending time with you. I like you."

She shivered and hugged herself. "In the beginning, I hated you so much. I couldn't really care less about our relationship. Once I got to know you though," she said, shaking her head, "I didn't want to lose you, but soon the guilt became too much. I couldn't act like I was innocent anymore."

He sighed. "So you told me part of the truth?"

"I'm sorry."

"Do you know how much that hurt? Being used by someone you care so much about?" He glanced at her. There were so many emotions painted on his face Julia could not read them anymore. She knew what she did and how horrible it was. After all, she remembered the stories Rome had told her – about the girls who cheated on him, the people who used him, and those who only befriended him for money and power. Now she was one of them.

"I'm so, so sorry." Julia looked into his eyes, trying to communicate how much she regretted the past. She was not the same Julia anymore. Like him, she was so tired of everything about her revolving around her family.

Rome let out a ragged breath. "I don't know if I want to believe you." He shook his head and took a step back. "I don't even know if I can forgive you."

With those words, Rome walked away, and the tears Julia had been holding back finally fell.