I Wish You Were With Me Now

My crumbling heart

We were at your house. It was hard not to kiss you. You were right in front of me. I couldn't do it. Not like I actually could've. You had a girlfriend. My heart crumbles a little everytime I'm reminded. You are the first person I have ever truly loved. Yeah I said I loved jackson. I think I was trying to not be in love with you because I knew you were dangerous. Jackson isn't you. You are perfection. You are the birth before the butterfly. A caterpillars crawl. You drive me crazy. You say you love me but I don't believe it all the time. When I am with you, you are all I want. And I feel like you want me too. But you are with her. Not me. And I know you say gonna leave her for me but honestly I don't know if you really will. You love her not me. That's why you have chosen her. And it kills me. I want you with every fiber in my being. You are all I can see in a crowded room. I try not to care. I try not to show you that I am dying inside. But when we are in your room. All alone. You stand by the door. I want nothing more than to walk up to you and push you up against that poster covered wall and kiss you until you can no longer breathe. I miss your touch. I crave your lips. I ache to see your perfect face and not be able to hold it in my hands as I press my lips softly against yours. I want to be able to hold your hand in public. I want to hold your body as close as possible while we lie in my bed. I hope one day I will be able to brush the hair out of yours eyes. I hope one day I will be able to be who you want and need. I hope one day I will be able to call you mine. But over all I hope someday I will find the guts to walk straight over to you and grab your hips and pull you closer to me as I press my lips against yours and I feel you kiss back.