New In The Neighbourhood

Emotion

I was slowly waking up to reality by feeling someone touch my shoulder over and over again. Crap I'm still in the same place , calilfornia . This is reality .I slowly opened my eyes to see my mother Over Towering me . "Don't you wanna see our nice new house?" My mother said, I honstley wanted to tell her " I hate it here , i don't care or wanna see the house"but I did't say it . I know she's means good intentions but i just wanna have my old life back. I don't like changes. I was on the verge from tears I don't want my mother to see me cry I did't want her to worry about me we came to a new place for a reason . I nodded in reply cause I knew if I talked I would have broken down. My mom went inside our house leaving me outside by myself , our house was a little cozy Victorian house , it looked like the type of house a " perfect couple" would get as a first house together . I have to admit it doesn't look that

Bad , our old home was quite broken down due to how old it was .I then grabbed few of my bags . I thought to myself " man why did I get quite a lot of bags " I still had a couple left in the car . I started walking into the patio it had a few chairs and one table , as I struggled to walk within a few steps i made it to the door . The door was aready open , when I walked inside it was still empty of course but I felt sort of a rush that was strange , I hated this place a lot but then now I feel a little bit happy . It was very spacious in the living room and it had a big window on the side. I trugged to upstairs with my bags and saw 3 rooms , 1 was the master bedroom I could tell because it had a walk-closet and is very spacious, 2 one Is the bathroom , and the 2 one is another room and I knew it was mine . It was medium size I guess you can say it was still better than my old room . I putted my bags down on the floor and started to have a break down , I hated break down it seems like I did it every day even back in Florida . I tugged at my sweater when I pulled down my sweater I saw all of the scars I had all the cuts I made . It just made me cry even more and harder , how I am so weak but yet I act so strong the only person who saw me this way was josh I remebered he told me how he would always ibe there for me and how I did't need to cry or cut myself . God I miss him so much, I was in a ball on the floor hating myself . I lay there in my tears for a good time I looked at my phone It was 7:50 am , I looked at the clock in Florida time on my phone it 10:50 am over there , I surpised josh did't call me maybe he doesn't care that I'm gone , again who cares about me . Hmm maybe I'll go to the mall I need to clear my mind.