Two weeks had passed while I was unemployed. I slowly lost my money, bit by bit, from spending it on necessities such as food for dinner and gas. Dakota suggested I stayed with her, but I never really liked depending on people and becoming a burden. You depended on her to relieve you from your stress. I sighed indifferently, dropping my head in shame. Me and Dakota hadn't been as affectionate or done anything sexual wise since the day I was fired. I didn't push anything, still feeling oddly guilty that I used her as a get away from my troubles. I'm sure she was aware that we only had sex because I was stressed, but she wasn't mad. I suppose it was because she knew I needed it, and what I noticed from Dakota was that she always tried to help me meet my needs no matter what sense it was put in. I thought about it silently, weighing my options in each hand. Staying here in this apartment nauseated me. The mere turn of the tap in the shower squeaked, reminding me of how Jasmine had awoken me plenty of times while preparing for a shower at an early hour before Dawn. The kitchen obtained an imperishable essence of coffee and cheesecake. The pub she often had gigs at always gave her a cheesecake to thank her for providing entertainment, and she'd absorb prolific amounts of coffee each day. Jasmine surrounded me, any direction I'd turn, an eccentric wraith of her ambiance floated within the vicinity of the flat. Staying with Dakota could be greatly beneficial for me. Not only will it help aid the hole in my chest that once occupied the girl I loved, but it will eventually reevaluate the steps in Dakota and I's relationship. I concluded that this was something I needed, a turning point which could remodel my financial life.
I immediately called Dakota. "Ni- I'm in the grocery store, I'll call you when I get home?" She answered, her voice was rushed and the eerie squeak of the grocery cart wheels could be heard through the phone. "No, I need to tell you this now, Dakota." I seethed, clamping my bottom lip between my teeth. I could hear her sigh softly through the receiver. "Sure- what is it?"
"Dakota, I want to move with you. Is the offer still standing? I need this. Not only for me, but for us." I quickly spoke, adrenaline peaking through my verbal essence. My lips parted in anticipation. "Really? Are you sure?" She spoke, a beat of delirium laced between her words. "I'm sure." I responded softly. "Well, Ni, you're welcome to move in at any time, really. I'm glad you decided to do this, I think it was best for you at this moment."
I glanced at the time. 6:52 pm. "Yeah- yeah. Um, is it fine if I stay over tonight? Once you get back home?" I dubiously murmured, licking my lips. "Yeah, sure." She obliged, a string of excitement in her voice. "Alright, see you later."
It always felt odd to end a phone call with Dakota without any rejoicing words to finish it. We've never confessed love to each other, and I can theorize that it's because we don't love each other yet. It's been nearly 5 months since we've been seeing each other, and though I could say she makes me considerably fulfilled, I wouldn't go as far as to say that I loved her. We were still missing a grave component within our relationship and I almost seemed to think that it only appeared amidst the affiliation of me and Jasmine. When we had sex, I couldn't say it felt great like it did when you were in love. I couldn't present a devotion in my movements like I had with Jasmine. And when it came down to it, I couldn't relish in the feeling of being idolized by Dakota.
I continued to compare and contrast the greatness between the two females before my consciousness congested me with implicit words.
Stop, you're making the matter worse. You're trying to get over Jasmine, it's been 5 months and you still can't go a day without agonizing over her. Get ahold of yourself!
I huffed, kneading the heel of my palms into my eyelids. I'm sure Dakota is on her way back home, it doesn't take her a long time to get what she needs and go. To divert my attention away from the thought of Jasmine, I decided to pack a bag, though I was sure I had a heap of clothing forgotten at Dakota's already. I traipsed to my bedroom and dug through copious amounts of clean clothes awaiting the day they'd be hung or folded, strewn amongst the confines of my bedroom. Usually, I was a hygienic being, but oppression and dormancy had gotten the better of me.
