"heather" ~ conan gray [DISCONTINUED]

one.

warning: language

i love them.
i really do.
but heather had to get in the way.
we were sitting on a little wooden bench in the park, on an early december day, and i was shivering.
"you seem cold" they said, obviously concerned.
"i am very cold", i said, sniffling. i was wearing a tshirt. it was a stupid idea, of course but i can't remember why i did it. they suddenly took off their oversized hoodie, and handed it to me. i smiled and blushed (though you couldn't really tell since my face was red from the cold anyways), then put the soft blue sweater on.
"you look better than i do in that, conan!" they said to me, smiling.
"no, i disagree, you look way better in it"
secretly i hoped they'd get the clue, i was too afraid to say how much i liked them.
as we were sitting and talking, a truly beautiful girl i'd seen in school before walked by. it was almost in slow motion. her skin was a beautiful, glowy tan, her long dark brown hair fell from its place on her shoulders from the wind, and she turned and smiled at us. her teeth were perfectly straight and white, her lips were full and a nice rose colour. i looked over at the person i am in love with, and saw them watching her sparkly blue eyes in awe.
out of sadness in knowing i didn't have a chance, i stood up and walked home without saying goodbye. they didn't notice, as they were too busy staring at heather. i went home, and stared at my ceiling while trying to process how i felt. since i couldn't quiet place my finger on it, i picked up my guitar and just started playing.
"i still remember, 3rd of december"
hmm... you gave me a sweater? no. i wore your sweater? no.
oh!
"me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you"
if only they knew..
perfect.
"only if you knew how much i liked you"
they were so caught on her eyes.
"but i watch your eyes as she walks by"
i continued to vent into my song. i had finished the first verse and pre chorus, but couldn't find the words for the rest.
i checked the clock to see that it's 2:16am, and decided to go to sleep considering i had school the next day.
i woke up to my text tone in my ears, wondering why my ringer was on. i always turn it off before i go to bed, i must've forgotten. i sleepily check the time, to see that it's 6:30am. i'm supposed to get up soon anyways, might as well just get ready. i completely forget about the text until i read my notifications almost an hour later.
message from "love"
shit. what could they want.
"hey cone, i need my sweater back."
that's all it said. what happened to being my best friend? what happened to the inside jokes every 5 seconds? what if they fell in love with heather? what if i lose them? no, i'm just overthinking. it's okay. i notice my heart beat pounding in my ears, and look down at my hands to find them shaking and sweaty. my breathing is getting heavier, and i realize anxiety came back. i haven't had much anxiety in the last week, i'm not sure why it's come back now. i plug my headphones in and play my playlist, "time to think" and just focus on breathing slower. eventually, i'm just shaking and a little worried, but okay. the time is 7:50. i have to go to school now.

and that's the first chapter! im a pretty slow updater, so after the next about three chapters it'll be a lot slower. sorry :/